


Mute.

by GeesCLUELESSgirl



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Bullying, Death Threats, Flashbacks, Goodbyes, Homophobic Language, Kissing, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Memories, Memory Loss, Minor Character Deaths, Murder, Night Terrors, Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Separation, Suicide, Violence, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-31 18:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10905399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeesCLUELESSgirl/pseuds/GeesCLUELESSgirl
Summary: Yet another fic taken from my MCRFF collection.Gerard Way has been mute and in foster care since he was 5 years old...not one of the homes was any good. Will his new home with Frank and his mother Linda be any better?Oh, and just so you know...I can't guarantee you a happy ending.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic on MCRFF with a co-author (gay llama) but I have unfortunately lost contact with her. I like this fic though because it's a bit different from others I've written, so I thought I'd put it here to see if anyone else likes it too.
> 
> Most of this fic is written in first person, which is something I don't do any more...so it's been hard for me to edit it for this site. I wrote the pieces in Gerard's POV, while my co wrote for Frank. Their POV sections are marked, so im hoping you won't get confused at all.
> 
> Because this is in first person, it doesn't really sound like my writing...but it is...well, half of it is anyway :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and if the other author happens to see this on here and wants her name put on, please message me and I'll sort it out.
> 
> * * *
> 
> If you like this, please comment.  
> If you have constructive criticism, please comment.  
> IF YOU JUST WANT TO THROW HATE AT ME...THEN FUCK OFF, CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. thank you.
> 
> * * *

**(9 YEARS AGO!)**

 

It was 4 o'clock in the morning, on 9th April 2006 when 5 year old Gerard Way (only just 5, as it was his birthday) was woken up to the sound of screaming.  
His little brother Mikey could sleep through anything, and was happily slumbering in his bed as Gerard got up and wandered sleepily out of their shared bedroom.  
He could hear banging and screaming coming from the kitchen, and being a brave and curious little boy he went to investigate. Wearing his Batman pjs, he felt like nothing could scare or hurt him. The ratty old teddy bear he held close to his chest helped with that too.  
As he approached the closed kitchen door, the voices from within became clearer, but he still couldn't work out who was shouting, and who was screaming.  
Pushing the door open, Gerard's young innocent eyes were met with the most awful sight. His mommy and daddy were currently both tied to kitchen chairs, as two men dressed all in black used large sharp knives to cut into them over and over again. His parents were the ones screaming, the men in black shouting at them to be quiet.

Gerard gasped and stumbled backward, knocking into the coffee table just outside the door. One of the men turned quickly his way.  
Gerard's eyes grew wide and he turned to run, but he only got a handful of steps before the man grabbed him from behind and dragged him into the slaughterhouse.  
Terror made him struggle fiercely, until the man struck him around the face, then lifted him up by the front of his pjs and growled angrily in his face.

"How old are you, ya little shit?..." 

Gerard shook with fear and clamped his eyes tight shut.

"ANSWER ME!"

Gerard squeaked and peed himself as the monster shook him hard.

"F-five." 

He stuttered out. The man laughed at this, the sound was like nails down a chalkboard.

"5 'ey?...well, y' too little t' kill...but y' big enough t' tell..." 

He looked over at his partner, who was busy cutting Gerard's mom's throat. His dad was already dead.

"What d' y' think?...should we kill 'im?"

The other man was covered in thick red blood as he walked over to examine the small, wet and petrified boy.

"What's ya name kid?"

Gerard sniffed, sucking a glob of snot back up his nose.

"G-Gerard." 

He whimpered, trying really hard to not meet the monster's eyes.

"Gerard?...cool name! So, Gerard...should we kill ya?..." 

Gerard's eyes nearly popped out of his skull as he shook his head desperately.

"Or should we let ya go?..." 

Gerard nodded, and the man laughed.

"If we let ya go, ya gotta promise ya won't tell anyone what happened here, what ya saw."

"I w-won't." 

Gerard whined as the man thumped his tiny back against the wall. The man got real close and his voice went real low.

"You don't talk to anyone, or we'll come back and rip you to pieces...understand?..." 

Snot and tears streaking down his pale face, Gerard nodded weakly.

"Good..." 

The man dropped Gerard's tiny trembling form to the tiled floor, then turned to his companion.

"Let's go."

The men left. Gerard crawled through to the living room before throwing up on the carpet and then curling up into a ball on his side. He would've hugged his teddy bear now, but he'd lost it somewhere along the way. He knew that his mum and dad were gone, but he was too traumatised by what he'd seen and been through to even think about going for help.

* * *

It was 7:15 that morning that little 3 year old Mikey woke up to an empty bedroom.

"Geward?...Geward, where are you?..." 

Mikey shuffled off the edge of his little bed, Spider-Man footsie pjs coming undone at the top, and went to find his big brother.

"Geward, I'm hungwy..." 

He whined as he toddled along the hallway toward the living room. When he got there, he found Gerard curled up on the floor. Reaching out with little chubby fingers, he shook Gerard's thin shoulder.

"Geward?...I'm hungwy Geward."

Gerard lay still and silent, eyes staring glassily into space, mouth hanging open...he didn't answer.  
Mikey decided to go look for something to eat himself. Maybe mommy was in the kitchen and could make him pancakes. When he pushed open the kitchen door, having to use all his meagre weight to do so, he wasn't sure quite what he was seeing. Mommy and daddy were sat on chairs in the middle of the room. They were asleep (or so the 3 year old thought) and there was red sticky stuff all over them, and the floor. (paint, he presumed)

Mikey didn't want to get paint on his footsie pjs, cause mommy would be cross, so he decided not to go over to her. He knew that his mommy and daddy (especially daddy) didn't like to be woken up this early on a Saturday, so he thought it best if he didn't call out to them either.  
Turning around, Mikey left the kitchen and went back to talk to his brother.

"Geward...Mommy won't wake up...Geward?" 

When he still didn't get a response, he tried to think what to do. Now, Mikey remembered something his mommy had said to them a while back about what to do if they needed help and she wasn't there (or something like that). She'd told them to go to Miss Carter's house, next door...the nice lady who made them cookies at Christmas.  
The front door was inexplicably open, so little Mikey toddled next door and knocked as hard as he could on the weirdly purple painted wood.  
After a minute, the door swung open, and a very confused looking Samantha Carter looked down at her tiny visitor.

"Mikey?...what are you doing here?..." 

She leaned out of her door, over Mikey's head and looked toward her neighbour's house.

"Where's your mommy sweetheart?"

Mikey shuffled his feet, footsies weren't really suitable for walking around out doors.

"Mommy and daddy are asleep, and the kitchen's sticky."

Samantha frowned.

"Sticky?"

"Red paint." 

Mikey nodded. Samantha wasn't any the wiser, so she scooped the boy up into her arms and headed next door.  
Stepping into the house, the smell hit her instantly. It was that tangy coppery stench that she'd smelled that day when she'd helped out at her husband's butcher's shop. It was blood...and it turned her stomach.

"Mikey...where's your mommy?..." 

She asked again, as her eyes landed on the small figure curled up on the floor. Mikey pointed toward the kitchen. Samantha carried Mikey over to Gerard's silent form.

"Gee?...sweetie are you ok?..." 

She crouched at the boy's side. He didn't move, or make a sound. She carefully sat Mikey down next to his brother.

"Mikey...will you stay here with Gee while I go see your mommy?..." 

The little boy nodded, sitting down cross-legged and taking Gerard's cold, pale hand in his.

"Don't move, ok?..." 

Again he nodded, and Samantha stood and walked slowly toward the kitchen door.  
The smell got stronger the closer she got, and Mikey's description of the kitchen being "sticky" with "red paint" made her want to not look...but she had to.  
Pushing open the door, she saw what she'd hoped she wouldn't. Hand flying to her mouth, she stepped back into the living room and dug with shaking fingers into the pocket of her dressing gown. Pulling out her cellphone, she dialled 911.

15 minutes later, police and ambulance were there. The ambulance took the two small, traumatised boys to the hospital, Samantha going with them as she couldn't just watch them be taken off alone. The police, after establishing that they were going to get nothing from the boys, cordoned off the property and began their enquiries.

* * *

Gerard and Mikey were alone in the world now. They had no other family to go to, so they were put into the system.  
For the first month they were kept together, with a foster couple in Newark. But then the couple decided that they couldn't cope with Gerard's silence, or his almost total unresponsiveness...or when he'd wake up the whole house, screaming from the nightmares that plagued him every night.  
They sent him back like an unwanted gift and right then, the boys were separated.

Over the next 9 years, Gerard remained silent as he was shuffled from one foster family to another, not one of them lasting because of his silence, or his night-terrors, or the fact that he had to be practically force-fed otherwise he wouldn't eat at all.

And now at the age of 14, the shy, silent and frightened boy has just been returned yet again.

"I will find somewhere for you Gee..." 

Maggie Hardcarstle, Gerard's social worker for the last 4 years tried to assure him.

"I actually have an idea..." 

She dug around in her desk drawer for a minute, then pulled out a slip of paper, with a triumphant-

"Ta-da!"

She picked up her phone and dialled the number on the paper, shooting a smile toward the thin boy sat opposite her...he didn't smile back.  
The phone rang for a moment or two then someone answered. Gerard could only hear Maggie's side of the conversation, but it sounded like the two women were friends.

"Hi Linda, it's Maggie...yes, too long...haha, I know, I didn't think that would work either...yes, actually I do...a 14 year old boy...yes...oh I think so...no, no there's no family left...you will?...oh that's wonderful!...you'll come meet him at my office tomorrow morning around 10?...excellent...and you'll bring Frankie?...good. It'll be nice to see you both. Well, we'll see you tomorrow then...bye Linda..." 

Then she hung up and grinned at Gerard.

"I have a good feeling about this one, and I think you'll like her son Frank too."

Gerard sat silently observing Maggie through all her speech, then returned his attention to the sketchbook on his knees, his drawing of a graveyard really coming along nicely now.

* * *

**Gerard's POV**

 

Another family...Oh joy. What's this...37th time's the charm? Don't make me laugh. Don't get me wrong though, Maggie tries...but no one out there wants a fucked up head case like me living with them. There...I admit it; I'M FUCKED UP!...but it's not exactly my fault, ya know!? It's those bastards 9 years ago that did it for me. They royally screwed me over...destroyed any chance I had of a normal, happy childhood...or life for that matter.

I kinda remember my family, like bits and pieces of a dream. I remember my mom's long blonde hair, always a mess. Her pancakes on a Saturday morning, and dad singing in the shower while she cooked them. And I remember Mikey. He used to follow me around and get under my feet and steal and break all my toys...but what I wouldn't give to see him just one more time.  
Maggie tried to find out where he was last year, but he'd been moved around a lot too, though not as much as me, and she couldn't track him through the system. You'd think there was some national computer database or something, wouldn't ya...some way for social workers to find specific kids. But no...apparently not.

This new one, Linda, was it? Is a single mum with a son just a bit older than me from what I can gather. I don't have a great track record with other teenagers. There was Lucas, who thought I was deaf and spent three weeks shouting down my ear. Then there was Kyle and Maddison, the twins, who thought it hilarious to beat the shit out of me every time their parents went out the house. Oh, and after them was Robert...and I'd rather not talk about him, thank you very much.  
There have been others, far too many to name, most of which I can't even recall now...all of which hated me of course.  
I don't have great expectations for this move, even if Maggie does, guess we'll see tomorrow.

I am the freaky little kid who doesn't talk and doesn't eat and won't let anyone touch me. I'm that weird kid in the back of the class who everyone avoids, unless it's to kick my head in. I'm _that_ kid!  
Oh, by the way, cause I don't think I mentioned...my name's Gerard, Gerard Way...I'm 14 years old and I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna make it to 15.  
Welcome to my shitty life.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Frank and Linda...things don't go quite as smoothly as they could.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Please comment and be safe.
> 
> * * *

 

**Frank's POV**

 

I woke up with a flinch and looked around feeling confused.

"Fuck." 

I mumbled, running a hand through my damp hair. I attempted to step out of the bed, but my blanket got caught on my foot and I fell onto the floor. I cursed under my breath again as I stumbled over to the hamper in the corner. I pulled out a fairly clean pair of jeans and threw them on along with a Misfits shirt from my drawer and headed downstairs. As I entered the kitchen, a familiar voice greeted me.

"Good morning, Frank." 

My mom said from the table, drinking a cup of tea as she tapped her fingers on the wooden surface.

"Hi."

I muttered, walking to the coffee maker on the counter in the corner of the room. I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured the coffee into it.

"Tomorrow, we are meeting someone, so we should tidy up today,." 

Mom smiled warmly at me as I sat across from her at the table.

"Who?" 

I asked, taking a swig of my drink. Could use sugar.

"Well Frank, we're having a foster child live with us again." 

She said excitedly.

"You're kidding!?" 

I nearly dropped my drink as I lifted it to my lips.

"About such things...nope." 

She grinned.

"Please mom, tell me that you're joking?" 

I begged.

"Frank, it'll be fine." 

She placed her hand on mine but I pulled away, folding my arms over my chest.

"No way!" 

I said crossly.

"Frank, c'mon. He needs a place to go."

"Someone else can do it." 

I spat.

"Frank, I'm not asking you to like him. I'm just asking you to be nice."

"But what if he never shuts the hell up?" 

I whined like a little kid...even I can hear how bad I sound.

"He can't or, _doesn't_ talk. He won't be bothering you, and language Frank." 

She said strictly. She acts like I screamed fuck at the top of my lungs and our deaf neighbour heard it. 

"Where's he gonna sleep?" 

I asked. She gave me a look...my room. 

"No. Not my room." 

I shook my head. 

"Fine. Gimme your phone." 

She held out her hand.

"Hey, let's not be hasty here..." 

I said suddenly. 

"I'll be nice to the kid..."

She smiled with glee.

"Two questions: Name? Age?"

"His name is Gerard, and he's fourteen."

Great, not only will he be awkwardly quiet, he will be all hormonal. I chugged down the rest of my coffee, and tried to leave quickly.

"I'm gonna need your help..."

She says kindly. 

"I need you to help bring that extra bed to your room."

I let out a frustrated groan.

_~time passes~_

I was laying on my bed staring over at the other neatly made bed in the corner of the room. I had to make it up for that Gerard kid. I let out a loud sigh and put in my ear buds, turning up the volume to maximum and playing a variety of different songs. The first song is Shut Me Up by Mindless Self Indulgence.  
I rolled onto my side thinking about that dumb kid who's gonna be taking over my room...taking over the house.  
Just wait, Mom is gonna give him whatever he wants, although, he can't tell her what he wants.  
Thoughts of meeting him came to my mind. I wish the meeting of this Gerard character weren't such short notice.

* * *

**Gerard's POV**

 

Well last night was shit! Maggie had to put me in the local group home for the night, and I was roomed with this thug called Oscar who was apparently angry at the whole Goddamn world, and decided to take it out on me. I have bruises all over my stomach and ribs to show for it too. Fucker!  
Now I'm sat back in Maggie's office, waiting for this Linda woman to show up and decide if she wants to take me home with her or not...I wouldn't be surprised if she says "Not!"

I'm sat in the corner, on the little red couch, with my sketch pad on my knees and my pencil in my hand...but my stomach's churning with nerves cause no matter how many times I do this, it's always scary meeting a new family, and I can't draw when my hand's shaking and I feel like I'm gonna puke, or pass out...or both!

Of course, there's nothing for me _to_ puke, as it's about three months since I've actually eaten anything, and that was a slug that was forced down my throat by the brat I was made to share a room with at the time.  
I don't eat...I'm not anorexic, or bulimic. I don't think I'm fat, or that I need to loose weight. I just don't like food, simple as that.  
Maggie understands this. She had me see a shrink a couple years back, who told her that it's just the way I am, but that I really need to be taking some vitamins and stuff so I don't die. I agreed to take them, just to get her off my back. They're not so bad and they mean I don't get pestered to eat.

Maggie keeps talking to me, telling me about this new home I'm going to. Trying to reassure me that I'll like it there, and that Linda's son is a nice boy who she's sure will make me feel right at home. Yeah, right.

It's 10:15. They're late.

I took a sip of water from a glass on the table to my right, just as a knock sounded on the door.  
Maggie dashed over and flung the door open with a smile, and hugged the lady on the other side...Linda, I presume.  
I kept my head down, staring at my sketch pad and waited for them to enter and for the door to close before I glanced up to take a look at the mother and son who I'd be spending the next little while with.

Linda was a small woman with long dark hair and a friendly smile. Her son, who's name I'd been told but couldn't remember, was just as small as her, no, maybe an inch or two taller, with dark brown hair that nearly reached his shoulders, big, heavily lidded hazel eyes, a strong jaw, perfect eyebrows, a little button nose, full, soft looking pink lips, and he was wearing a lip ring, nose ring, and small gauges in his ears too.  
Fuck!...he was hot!  
I cursed myself for thinking such things, cause it was irrelevant. It didn't matter if I fancied this boy, no one would ever like me so there really was no point...he was probably straight anyway.

The boy looked at me just once, then didn't look back at me again. Just as I thought...pointless.  
Maggie brought Linda over to meet me.

"Gee?...this is Linda...Linda, Gee."

I looked up and was met by a pair of friendly blue/green eyes.

"Hello Gee. It's nice to meet you..." 

Linda put out her hand and I shook it, nervously.

"I hope you're going to be happy living with me and Frankie..." 

Oh yeah, that was his name...Frank. She turned her head toward the boy, who was pointedly staring out the window.

"Frankie, come here and introduce yourself..." 

Frankie looked over at me, like I was something stuck to the bottom of his shoe, then huffed and turned away silently. Linda laughed nervously and looked back at me.

"I'm sorry about him. He doesn't like getting up early on Sundays."

Maggie chuckled as I looked back down at my sketchbook.

"Teenagers, huh?" 

She smiled gently at Linda, holding up the coffee pot in query. The two woman sat and talked for a while...mostly about me, but I tuned them out and closed my eyes. I could already tell that this was gonna be just as bad as all the other places I'd been sent...so what was the point of me even being here? None that I could see.

 

**Frank's POV**

Mom and Maggie made conversation for what felt like forever. I didn't pay any attention to them, I focused on the pale, beautiful boy sitting just feet away from me. He was looking down in his notebook as his pencil moved across the page effortlessly. From my angle, I couldn't see the picture though.  
He glanced up, his eyes meeting mine. He flashed a small smile, but quickly looked down like he offended me. I stopped watching him, and focused on the conversation at hand.

"Linda, are you sure you want Gerard to live with you?" 

Maggie asked. Was she trying to put us off?

"Bitch." 

I mumbled. Her head turned in my direction.

"What was that?" 

She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"On my foot, there's an itch." 

I lied. Gerard looked up at me, his shoulders shaking as he giggled silently. She nodded like she bought the obvious lie. Mom looked at me, she knows what I said.

"Anyway, you're sure about taking Gerard?" 

Maggie asked in her annoying Bitch voice.

"Yes, of course." 

Mom said cheerfully.

"Great!..." 

Maggie said, standing up. 

"I'll get the paperwork."

With that she left the room, closing the door with a click.

"You called her a bitch? Really?" 

Mom cocked an eyebrow.

"I-I didn't." 

I stammered, my face heating up. Gerard giggled just loud enough for me to hear. I shot him a happy look and he looked down shamefully.

"It's fine. She was being pushy." 

Mom laughed and I sighed with relief. Maggie returned a few minutes later.  
After signing all the paperwork, we stood up to leave. Gerard approached me hesitantly, clutching his book and a pencil case.

The drive home was quiet and I sit in the back beside Gerard. He was silent-what else is new? He stared down at the paper as he drew, but again, I still couldn't sew what he's drawing. He was covering part of the page with his sleeve, blocking my view.

"Are you boys okay with pasta for dinner?" 

Mom asked.

"Yeah..." 

I said.

"Sounds good."

"Cool." 

Mom smiled at me in the mirror. I nodded as a response.  
Gerard was looking at me, studying me. I smiled and he looked slightly terrified...like I had just told him that I'd kill him if he continued to look at me. I let out a frustrated groan, and returned to my original plan on silently shunning him. I can't believe Mom wanted him to live with us.  
I sigh again and this time Mom's reflection glared at me. I remembered her threat about my phone and stayed quiet.

I leaned against the window and put in my earbuds, turning up the volume on my phone loud enough so I can no longer hear the world around me. I blared 'Don't wanna be in love' by Good Charlotte. I noticed Gerard reach in his pocket and pull out a phone. He stared down at the electronic screen blankly, then put on Barbuda on his own, drowning out the world just as I do.  
I stare out the window. Gerard better not be _too_ weird or quiet.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

The drive wasn't very long, but after the brief discussion Linda and Frank had about dinner, nothing much else was said and both Frank and I retreated into our headphones, blasting music and shutting out the world. I carried on with my drawing for a while, but after about 15 minutes I started to feel a little car-sick, so I closed my book, put my pencil in its case and stared out the window for a bit.  
Soon we pulled up outside a medium sized two storey house and Linda turned off the engine.

"We're home!..." 

She stated, cheerfully.

"Frankie?...why don't you help Gerard with his things and show him your room..." 

Frank grunted, ripping the earbuds from his ears and looking like he'd rather eat dog shit than be anywhere near me. No more than I expected.

"That wasn't a suggestion, Frank!" 

Linda scowled at him, climbing out of the car and heading toward the house. Frank rolled his eyes and grabbed my bag from the seat between us, before getting out and slamming the car door, then walking quickly into the house. I hurried after him, nearly tripping over my laces on the way and closed the front door as I stepped inside.  
The house looked cosy and comfortable, and spotlessly clean.

"I'm gonna start dinner boys..." 

Linda called as she disappeared into what I assume to be the kitchen.

"Frank?...be nice!"

Frank grunted, something that seems to be his main form of communication, and headed up a flight of stairs on our left. I quickly followed him up and saw him step into a door on the right. When I approached it and looked inside, it was instantly obvious by the band and movie posters, and by the playstation that appeared to have been left on pause in the middle of what appeared to be Mariocart, that this was Frank's room.  
Frank dropped my bag onto a neatly made twin bed in the corner, apparently this is my room now too, then trudged over to his bed and flopped down on it, picking up a controller and un-pausing his game like I wasn't even there.

I sighed and slipped into the room, making my way quietly to my new bed that was as physically far from Frank's bed as it was possible to get in this room, and sat down. Frank was seemingly engrossed in his game, so I placed my sketchbook and pencil case on the little chest of drawers next to my bed and lay down on my back, staring up at the plain white ceiling. I felt my face become wet as tears started to leak from my eyes, so I silently turned onto my side, facing the wall, and pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my thin arms around them.  
I cried quietly, listening to the sounds of Frank's game. Right now, he was ignoring me, but I knew from bitter experience that it was only a matter of time before he decided it was more fun to use me as a punching bag. I was used to it though...that's always what happens. Teenagers never want some stranger invading their home, their room...their life. It might not be today, or next week, but it would happen, just wait and see.  
I buried my face in my knees and sobbed silently. So this is my life.

After a while, there was a soft knock on the door. It opened and Linda stepped inside.

"Dinner's ready boys, come down before it gets cold..." 

I reached over and grabbed my sketchbook, turning to the back page and scribbling three words~ I DON'T EAT, before ripping the paper out and handing it to her. Linda looked at the paper and frowned, then turned to Frank.

"Frankie, go eat, I'll be down in a few..." 

Frank grunted, but paused his game again and left the room. Linda turned back to me.

"Do you mind?..." 

She indicated the edge of the bed. I shrugged and Linda sat gently on the edge, careful not to touch me.

"Maggie told me that you have issues with food. She said that you take lots of vitamins?..." 

I nodded slightly.

.Would you show me?...so I can make sure you don't run out." 

I nodded and sat up, grabbing my bag and dragging it toward me. I opened the back pocket and pulled out two large bottles of multi-vitamins. Linda took them carefully from my fingers and examined the labels.

"I used to be a nurse..." 

She said, still staring at the bottles.

"Did Maggie tell you?..." 

She looked up and I shook my head.

"Yeah..." 

She continued.

"For 17 years before I had Frankie, and a further 12 after he was born..." 

She looked a little sad.

"I miss it sometimes, you know?...getting to help people. That's why I decided to become a foster parent..." 

She smiled at me, and I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth in response.

"You are the fourth one I've had. Frankie always took a while to adjust, but he always came around eventually..." 

She chuckled, quietly.

"I wasn't really intending to foster again, not after the last boy. He was with us for six months. He and Frankie were close, but his father suddenly turned up out of the blue, and Ryan left to live with him...Frankie was devastated. I didn't want to put him through that again..." 

She set my pills on the bedside.

"Maggie told me that you don't have any other family, is that right?..." 

I shrugged, looking down at my hands.

"Well I hope things work out, and that you can be happy here with us..." 

I looked up through my long hair.

"I wish you'd at least try to eat, but I understand why you don't, and I won't try and force you..." 

She scratched the back of her neck.

"I'm going to get you booked in with the local doctor tomorrow, so we can make sure you're getting everything you need to stay healthy, ok?..." 

I grimaced slightly...I don't like doctors, they usually mean needles. But I nodded, Linda was only trying to help.

"And we'll get you enrolled at Frankie's high school too..." 

She chuckled at the slightly terrified look that must've crossed my face.

"Don't worry, you'll be ok. It's a nice school, and Frankie will keep an eye on you..." 

I doubted that very much.

"Ok, so I'm gonna go eat before Frankie scoffs the lot. I swear, I don't know where he puts it all..." 

She laughed lightly. I smiled at her as she stood from my bed and headed for the door before turning back.

"Feel free to come down and join us if you like. No pressure." 

She waved slightly, then disappeared out the door. A moment later I heard her feet stepping carefully down the stairs. I lay back down and rolled back onto my side, facing into the corner and hugging my knees. Linda said all the right things, but I would still be waiting for the day that Frank showed how much he hated me. And the day they sent me back, just like all the rest.

 

**Frank's POV**

 

I leant against the door as mom talked to Gerard. He of course wasn't responding to her words verbally. I strained to hear the words being said. I could only make out mom saying something about missing being a nurse, and Gerard starting school with me. She promised that I'll protect him.  
I don't want people picking on Gerard, because even though I don't know him, I don't find it fair for him to be pushed around. Trust me, I have it happen almost every day, and it SUCKS!  
Maybe I'll defend him.

Mom said something to Gerard about going into the kitchen so I don't eat all the food. I ran to the table so it looked like I wasn't listening to them 'talk' and sat quietly, beginning to eat the 'food'. To be honest, it's not that great, but school lunches are worse, so I can't really complain. Mom walked into the room.

"Frank, did you save me some food?" 

She asked. What...am I king lard-ass over here? God.

"Yes, Mom."

I scoffed.

"Good."

"You act like I'm fucking 600 pounds and I'm gonna eat all your dinner along with mine." 

I said, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, sorry. I eat too." 

She joked. I glared falsely.

"Well, duh. You can't just, not eat." 

I took a bite of whatever she intended to make. It looked kind of like pasta, but tasted kind of like dirt, or a mixture of sticks and cardboard.

"Dinner's good." 

I lied.

"Glad you like it." 

She said thoughtfully. I rolled my eyes but she didn't see me.  
After dinner, I went back to my room and resumed playing on my PlayStation. Gerard was facing the wall, hugging his legs to his chest. I could hear quiet sobs. I looked over with concern.

"Gerard?" 

I asked, feeling kind of bad for coming off as a major douche bag. He went silent.

"You okay?" 

I asked, he stayed quiet. I paused my game and slowly approached his bed.

"Are you okay?" 

I repeat. He nodded. His cheeks are sopping wet from crying...how long has he been crying? I sighed and trudged back to my bed.

"Suit yourself." 

I bounced onto the bed and pressed start to continue my game. He sniffled and pulled a blanket over his head. Now I feel like a dick. I slammed my head against the wall behind me in frustration. Gerard didn't bother to look up...I guess he already can tell what a fuck up I am.  
I growled quietly at myself for being so mean.

* * *

**Gerard's POV**

 

Sleep never comes easily for me, and when it does come, it's always plagued with nightmares. I curled up under my blankets, hugging my knees to my chest and tried to picture Mikey's face. I could sort of remember his eyes, always bright and full of life, but their colour was lost to time. His nose was kinda like mine, I think...but I'm not sure. I wish they'd let me have a photograph of him, but all the ones we'd taken before mom and dad died had been left behind, and obviously I couldn't ask for them.  
I could remember his hair. It was soft and fluffy and a lovely caramel colour. I remember stroking his hair to calm him down when he cried...I just couldn't remember his face.  
Tears soaking my pillow, I finally drifted off to sleep...that was when the nightmares began.

 

_I was walking to the kitchen, I could hear the screams but I couldn't stop myself from heading straight toward them. I pushed open the door and there, tied to the chairs, were my mom and dad. But this time there was a third chair and on it, was Mikey! God no!...not this one again! I tried to wake myself up...it didn't work!_

_I stepped into the room as a tall man...impossibly tall...walked behind my father and slit his throat. I screamed. The man didn't hear me. I wanted to look away but my eyes wouldn't obey...stupid eyes! Next he went behind my mother and again, the knife flashed and blood filled my vision. Please let me wake up now? I didn't...and I knew what was coming next._

_The man moved over to Mikey's side. Mikey was crying and screaming for me to save him, but I couldn't move. My feet felt heavy, glued to the floor. The man raised the knife towards Mikey's little throat. My brother's teary eyes met with mine. I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow. My whole body shaking with it...then..._

 

I woke up!

I didn't know where I was for a moment. Someone was leaning over me. I panicked, lashing out. Flailing and screaming as I tried to get away. Hands were grabbing my arms, holding me down...what new Hell is this? I screwed my eyes shut as I felt a major fucking panic attack start to take hold of me. The person holding my arms was saying my name. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't breathe.

"Gerard?...Gerard please...come on. It's just me!..." 

Who the fuck's me? 

"Please Gee?..." 

Wait...Gee? No one except Maggie called me that since mom and dad, and it didn't sound like Maggie..the voice was too deep. 

"Come on. Open your eyes..." 

I tried to steady my breathing. In for two...out for two...in for two...out for two. I slowly felt my heart rate calming.

"That's it Gee, breathe. You're ok...just breathe..." 

After what felt like forever, I felt like I'd relaxed enough to try opening my eyes again. Slowly I let them flutter open, fear of what I'd see still gnawing at my insides. Sat on the edge of my bed, leaning over me and still gently holding my arms, was Frank. Oh yeah...that's where I am! 

"Hi..." 

He smiled, nervously.

"You ok?..." 

Swallowing heavily I nodded, sniffing slightly.

"Nightmare?..." 

He let go of my arms, I missed his touch. I nodded again, turning my wet eyes away.

"You're safe here. No ones gonna hurt you..." 

Yeah, right. 

"Do you need anything?...water?..." 

I shook my head. I still couldn't bring myself to look in his eyes again. Frank sighed.

"Well at least we know your vocal cords still work..." 

I frowned, looking up at him in confusion. He chuckled slightly.

"You were screaming. Probably woke the whole street..." 

Embarrassed I looked away, feeling my wet cheeks burn.

"Not mum though..." 

He laughed.

"That woman could sleep through anything..." 

I wiped my eyes with the edge of my blanket.

"You ok if I try to get some more sleep now?..." 

I nodded, offering a small smile.

"Good. We got school in the morning...wanna be awake for that, right?..." 

He giggled...fucking giggled! I smiled.

"Ok. Good night Gee. Try to get some more sleep, ok?" 

I nodded as Frank stood up, then headed back over to his bed and climbed under the covers, turning over and falling asleep and snoring within a minute.

Why did he bother?...probably just didn't want me keeping him awake, right? I'd been woken from my nightmares by foster siblings before of course, but usually by them punching me in the guts, I'd never had one talk to me like that before. It was new, I liked it. Of course it won't last...he'll get sick of being woken up pretty quickly, then he'll be like all the rest. I just know it.

I'm not going back to sleep now, so I grab my phone and earbuds from my bedside, plug them in and blast a bit of Black Veil Brides. Who knows what school will hold for me tomorrow. All I know is...it won't be good!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not enjoying editing this...I remember now why I don't write in first person any more.
> 
> * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School really sucks!!
> 
> * * *

**Frank's POV**

 

"Frankie, get up..." 

Mom said, her voice sounding so distant, so foggy, so soft. She woke me up from my slumber.

"You too, Gerard." 

She added. I opened my eyes, light instantly blinding me. I squinted to see Mom standing in the doorway, waiting patiently for either one of us to move to let her know that we're awake.

"I'm up." 

I complained, falling off the bed. I do that too often. She nodded, turning out the door and closing it with a click. Gerard watched me as I grabbed a pair of pants from my drawer. I went into the bathroom and changed my pants. As I pulled up the jeans, I glanced at my reflection. Pale, awful, my enemy if you will. I looked as exhausted as I feel. Gerard's episode last night really kept me up.

I kind of feel bad for Gerard, he was shrieking in terror. I woke up, terrified of the shrill screams that pierced the air. I quickly put on my eye liner, and combed my hair before rushing back into my room. Gerard was sitting on his bed, already dressed.

"Gerard, c'mon." 

I waved him to follow me. He nodded and got off the messy bed and we headed downstairs...Mom was awaiting in the kitchen.

"I will be driving you two to school today..." 

She said, leaning against the counter behind her. I nodded, slinking to the table and sitting quietly. Gerard stood awkwardly where I left him in the doorway.

"I have to bring Gerard's papers in." 

She smiled warmly past me to Gerard...way to show the love, Mom. He nodded, sitting down beside me.

* * *

At the school, I got out of the car with Gerard and Mom. I lead the way to the main office, I happen to come here a lot. I'm late to classes a lot because I'm usually stuffed in a locker somewhere.  
After Mom handed over all Gerard's papers, she said her goodbyes and wished Gerard luck, then left.

Mine and Gerard's schedules were nearly the same. Even though I'm two years older than him, he and I are in the same grade...he skipped a grade a year or two ago, and I had to stay back last year because I was sick so many times the school year before. I glanced at his schedule and we have every class together except for Social Studies and Language Arts.

Gerard's schedule:  
Science  
Language Arts  
Math  
Language Arts  
Lunch  
Social Studies  
Art  
Gym

My Schedule:  
Science  
Social Studies  
Math  
Language Arts  
Lunch  
Language Arts  
Art  
Gym

I helped him find his locker and lead him to Science. As we rounded a corner, I tripped and fell on my face. Gerard stopped and helped me up...what did I trip over? I turned around to collect my dropped binder, and found out what I tripped over...Jason, my regular bully, smiled wickedly.

"Jason, please not now." 

I backed away. Gerard watched, his eyes wide with fear.

"Why?..." 

Jason sneered. 

"Am I offending your boy-toy?..." h

He pointed to Gerard. I rolled my eyes and turned around to walk away.

"No you don't." 

He chuckled, pulling me back. Gerard gasped in fear.

"Please, stop it." 

I begged. He laughed, slamming me into a wall, my head hitting the brick with a smack.

"Whatcha lookin at?" 

Jason growled at Gerard. Gerard furrowed his brow. He's not going to do what I think he's going to do, is he? Don't Gerard. Bad move...really bad move! He stepped forward and Jason smiled widely.

"Gerard, don't." 

I shook my head. Jason slammed me against the wall again. I winced as my head slammed into the surface.

"Yeah Gerard, I suggest you run along." 

Jason laughed, dropping me down. My back slid down the wall as I fell onto my ass. Jason hit Gerard in the stomach and Gerard moaned in pain...he didn't back down though. Gerard pushed Jason to the floor.

"You little..." 

Jason started. His speech was interrupted by Gerard striking his head. Gerard grabbed my hand quickly and we run to the bathroom. I opened the bathroom door and Gerard followed me in. I stared in the mirror but there were no bruises to be seen...for once. I splashed water in my face, breathing heavily.

"We're fuckin late." 

I mumbled. Gerard nodded in agreement.  
When we entered the science room, the class's glance met us the minute we crossed the threshold.

"Mr. Iero, care to explain why you're late?" 

The teacher asked.

"I had to help Gerard with his lock." 

I lied, making my way towards the back of the room, Gerard following.

"Frank. Hallway. You too..." 

She pointed at Gerard. In the hall, the teacher glared at me and then at Gerard.

"Care to explain why you're really late?" 

She asked.

"Gerard's locker wouldn't open." 

I lied again.

"Right..." 

She rolled her eyes. 

"You..." 

She looks at Gerard. 

"...explain."

Gerard shook his head.

"It's your first day and already you're becoming like Frank, being late to my class..." 

She shook her head...her glasses reflected my awkward image back to me.

"Now Gerard, tell me...why are you late?"

He shook his head.

"He can't talk..." 

I mumbled. I corrected myself when Gerard looked at me. 

"Doesn't talk."

"Is this true?..." 

She asked Gerard. He nodded.

"Do you two think I'm as dumb as the other teachers?..." 

She growled. 

"I'm not taking your excuses, you both have detention after school."

"They were supposed to tell you..." 

I said childishly. 

"He really doesn't talk."

She rolled her eyes. 

"Detention, that's final."

Fuck! Why doesn't Gerard talk?! I returned to the room and sat in my seat. Gerard looked at me apologetically but I just stared, coldly.  
While taking notes, Gerard scribbled something down and handed me a piece of paper...'I'm sorry' It read. I stared are him, not caring. I handed back the piece of paper and he looked down sadly.  
I don't really care. I feel bad, but come on...he could have fucking spoken, just once

Classes went by quickly, then the final bell rang setting everyone but Gerard and I free. We walked to the detention room, I really am not a fan of Gerard right now.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

The detention was so awkward. Frank was obviously angry at me and my "sorry" note did nothing to help that. At the end, when we were finally released, Frank stormed out of the room without me. Of course, I'm not surprised he hates me...they all do, sooner or later. Head hung low, I collected my things, nodded goodbye to Mr. Carringfield, the gym teacher who'd been put in charge of detentions this week, then followed Frank out of the building and over to Linda's car.  
Frank was already strapped in the passenger seat, leaving me to sit in the back, alone.

"How was your first day at school Gerard?..." 

Linda asked, turning in her seat to look at me.

"Was everyone nice?..."

I shrugged slightly and studied my hands in my lap. Linda turned to Frank.

"You did look after Gerard, didn't you Frankie?"

Frank grunted and shoved his earbuds in his ears, turning his music up loud, and staring out the side window grumpily.

* * *

Linda sighed. She had been informed over the phone at lunchtime about the detention, by the science teacher who'd given it. Told that they'd been late for class, then when asked, Gerard had refused to explain why.  
She tore strips off the bitch teacher for not listening when Frank had told her that Gerard doesn't talk, hasn't for 9 years. The teacher said that she'd not been informed and therefore didn't know and didn't believe Frank's word.  
Linda had assured the bitch that she would be putting in a complaint, but the teacher said that the detention was already on the system, so they had no choice but to go...then hung up...bitch!  
Pulling out of the school carpark, Linda knew there wasn't much point talking to the boys, cause she could see in the rear view mirror that Gerard had put in his earbuds too.  
Sighing again, she turned on the radio, and drove quietly back home.

* * *

**Gerard's POV**

 

When we arrived at the house, Frank slammed his way out of the car and stomped in through the front door. Linda offered me an apologetic smile as we got out of the car and followed him in.

"Don't worry dear, he'll come around soon..." 

A door upstairs slammed violently and loud music started to be blasted in what I presumed was our room.

"Perhaps you should stay down here for a bit..." 

Linda suggested.

"Have you got any homework?..." 

I nodded, grimacing slightly.

"Ok, well why don't you come keep me company while I get dinner, and you can do your work on the table." 

I smiled slightly and followed her through to the kitchen. Math...deep joy.  
After about a half hour, Linda said she was going to go tell Frank that dinner was ready. From what I could see and smell, I was glad that I don't eat.  
Five minutes later, Linda came back down.

"He's locked the door and won't come out..." 

She grumbled.

"Guess it's just you and me kid..." 

She smiled at me as she served herself a plate of what I think was meant to be Osso Buco, though I wouldn't put money on it, and sat down opposite me to eat.

"I got you signed up at the doctors today..." 

She said thoughtfully, in between bites of whatever the hell that was supposed to be.

"I need to take you in for a routine checkup next week, but because Maggie gave me your medical file, the surgery could give me a prescription for your current pills. They're in my bag, so you don't have to go upstairs and brave the wrath of Frank..." 

She grinned at me and I smiled slightly back.

"He really isn't normally like this..." 

She assured me...oh, so it's me then! 

"I think he's having some problems at school. Might be being bullied, but he won't talk to me about it."

She looked so sad as she continued to eat her...food. I wanted to hug her and tell her that everything would be alright, but I didn't...instead, I just offered a small smile and returned to my math equations. When will I ever need to be able to work out the third angle of a triangle?...what job needed that shit anyway...besides high school math teacher, that is.

When Linda had finished eating and cleared away the evidence, putting Frank's "meal" in the fridge for later, we both went through to the living room and Linda put in a movie...Ghostbusters...one of my favourites.  
We sat in silence, watching until the very end and the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man was defeated. As the credits rolled, I could hear Linda sing along with the theme song...

"When there's something strange, in the neighbourhood...who you gonna call?...GHOSTBUSTERS!"

I stifled a giggle by turning it into a yawn. Linda looked at me and smiled.

"Tired sweetie?..." 

I nodded.

"Ok, why don't you head up to bed. Just bang on the door if it's still locked."

I nodded, then headed upstairs. Our bedroom door was still locked and music was still blasting behind it. I banged as Linda suggested and after a couple minutes of this the door opened, and Frank shoved the pillow and blanket from my bed into my arms, then slammed and locked the door again.  
Tears crept down my face, and my bottom lip wobbled.  
A few minutes trying to calm myself down later, and I wandered sheepishly back downstairs.  
Linda looked up from the book she was reading in her chair. When she saw me, she deserted the book and rushed to my side, taking the bedding from me to dump on the sofa, before holding out her arms toward me.  
I hesitated for a moment then allowed her to hug me. She held me for about a minute, then let me go.

"I'll go talk to him..." 

She murmured.

"...but just in case, why don't you made up the sofa."

I nodded and she went upstairs. I was still in my jeans but they weren't exactly tight on me, so I figured I could sleep in them if I had to. I lay out my blankets and pillow, then lay down and wrapped the blankets around my thin body.  
I could hear Linda shouting and banging upstairs, but I was already drifting off to sleep. I don't know whether she got through to him or not...I just knew that if I had my regular nightmares tonight, Frank would not be there to calm me back down...that was for certain.

 

**Frank's POV**

 

I felt very little sympathy for Gerard. Yes, he was sleeping on the couch, but he deserves it. He got me a fucking detention, that douche. But I shouldn't blame him really...he doesn't talk, so he couldn't explain what happened to the teacher.  
I blared music, likely loud enough for a neighbor to hear.  
Before attempting to rest, I turned the music down...I don't want to be a complete dick. I'm not in the mood for a lecture from Mom about the neighbor's complaints anyway.  
I'd been up for hours, and couldn't seem to fall asleep. But this was no surprise...I'm used to this. I have insomnia, so it a not like it's new for me to be up late.  
When sleep finally came, it crashed into me all at once. 

At about 3:00am, I awoke to a shriek.

"Shit! Gerard!" 

I gasped, remembering the boy who I'd shown no kindness towards. I tripped out of bed and made my way towards to door. My floor was cluttered with books and other shit that wasn't exactly identifiable. I grabbed the door knob, trying to turn it. It didn't budge. Oh yeah, I locked it.  
Unlocking it quickly, I sprinted down to the living room to help the boy who is defenseless to his terrors.  
Gerard was laying down on the couch, violently jerking in his sleep. I rushed to his side and try to calm him to the best of my abilities.

"Shhh...Gee..." 

I tested his nickname a little. It sounded so natural.

"It's okay...shhh..." 

I squatted beside him, stroking his hair as he shook. He was whimpering quietly. I felt awful. Everything went silent and I thought I'd helped as I started for the stairs. But then, a startled, blood curdling shriek escaped Gerard. I swear my heart stopped. I spun back around to help him, going to his side again. I cooed quietly. 

"Gee...shhh. It's okay..." 

I pleaded. He gasped, sitting up suddenly. His eyes met mine...a glimpse of shear terror flashed as he panted.

"Are you okay? You were fucking shrieking. The whole fucking neighborhood probably thinks we were fucking stabbing you!..." 

I whisper/yelled at him. He looked taken aback. A quiet sob escaped his lips. I made him cry...of course.

"Don't cry..." 

I begged. He continued to sob, laying back down and facing the backside of the sofa. His quiet sniffles really made me feel awful. I walked into the kitchen, and grabbed a glass of water for Gerard. I set it down on the coffee table as I returned to the couch.

"Please. I'm sorry..." 

I touched his arm and he rolled back to face me, his cheeks wet, his eyes red in the pale light.

"Don't cry. I'm sorry. No one's mad just...don't cry..." 

I rubbed his arm as comfortingly as I can but he flinched as if I'll hit him.

"I'm not gonna hurt you..." 

I whispered.

"You don't need to be scared of me..."

He nodded as if he was talking.

"Do you wanna go back to the room? Would that make you feel better?..." 

I asked. He nodded and I beckon him, as I handed him the glass of water I brought for him. He nodded, taking it willingly while I collected his blankets and pillows, and lead the way to the room. He followed hesitantly, but not cowardly.

"Gerard, please don't be afraid of me. You act like I'll hurt you..." 

I told him, but he nodded like I threatened him. I sighed as I opened the bedroom door.

"Careful, I have books on the floor..." 

I warned. He nodded, just nearly visible in the pale light. I put his stuff on his bed and he set down the water on the dresser, and lay down in the bed.

"Good night, Gerard..." 

I said calmly as I plopped down on my own bed. He didn't respond, but I heard him yawn, and took that as good enough.

"I'll see you in the morning." 

I mentally kicked myself as I pulled a blanket over my head...I could've handled today so much better.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

I didn't go back to sleep when Frank took me back to our room...I quite often don't after one of my terrors. I usually listen to music instead.  
I shouldn't really call it _our_ room, should I?...after all, it's not like I'll be staying here that long. They'll get sick of me soon enough.

I don't understand Frank. One minute he hates me and locks me out of his room, and the next, he's waking me from my nightmares, telling me everything's alright and taking me back upstairs...I just don't get it.  
Plugging my earbuds into my ears, I blasted a bit of Pumpkins and tried to forget the horrors that had me screaming the place down. They're not easy to forget...but I have to try.

I lay curled up under my blankets with my eyes tight shut. I've always been afraid of the dark, and it only gets worse after a terror, and in a new place...which it feels like is practically every night.  
Frank was snoring quietly across the room, I could hear him in between songs...at least one of us can sleep.

After what felt like a thousand hours, Frank's alarm went off to signal that we needed to get up for school. Hurray!...not!!  
Frank left the room without even looking my way...guess he hates me again.  
There's no point in my going downstairs yet, he just went for breakfast. Climbing stiffly out of bed, I stretched and yawned, then walked into our little en-suite bathroom.  
I turned on the shower and avoided the mirror like it's got the plague...it's got my face in it, so it might as well have...then quickly brushed my teeth as I waited for the shower to heat up. Once it's almost scaldingly hot, I stripped off my jeans, boxers and t-shirt that I "slept" in last night, and stepped under the spray.

My hair felt greasy, so I grabbed a bottle of mango scented shampoo off the little shelf in the corner and squirted some onto my head, before lathering it up for a good couple minutes. When I stuck my head back under the water, some of the soap went in my eyes. 

"AHHH!" 

I screamed as my eyes burned...what did they put in that stuff...battery acid?  
Suddenly the bathroom door flew open and a panicked looking Frank charged in.

"What's wrong? What happened?..." 

He said quickly, as I tried to cover myself while still attempting to save myself from blindness. Both efforts seemed ineffective.  
Frank quickly realised two things...a: that I'd screamed because I'd gotten soap in my eye, and b: that I was naked. 

"Oh shit!...err...sorry...I'll...err. Bye." 

Then he turned and left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I think we need a lock.  
Once I'd regained my sight, finished washing my hair...that could actually do with a cut right now...and scrubbed every inch of my skin til it was sore, I turned off the water, grabbed a large red towel from the rack and dried myself off, before wrapping the towel around myself and stepping gingerly back into the bedroom.  
Frank was sat, cross-legged on his bed, reading a comic book. He looked up at me...I hope he didn't see my scars. There was a slight blush on his cheeks, or I could've just imagined it.

"You finished in there?" 

He pointed at the bathroom. I nodded. Frank put down his comic, got off his bed and disappeared into the bathroom without another word, slamming the door behind him. I took a deep, steadying breath. If he saw them, he didn't react.  
They're not all self inflicted, though some are...please don't judge...but most were given to me by various foster brothers, sisters, and in a few cases- foster parents.  
And people wonder why I'm so screwed up?!

Sighing dramatically, I took off the towel and quickly dressed in a pair of batman boxers, black socks, black skinny jeans that could almost be called baggies on me, a plain black t-shirt, and a black hoodie with a picture of Jack Skellington on the front.  
Colour is not my friend.  
Frank was still in the bathroom, but the water just shut off so I'm guessing he'd gotten out of the shower. I quickly grabbed my things for school and left the room, slipping silently down the stairs.

I could hear Linda singing in the kitchen. It made me smile. I put my bag on the sofa and sat down, cuddling a throw cushion to my chest.  
After a couple minutes, Frank came bounding down the stairs, dressed and with his bag on his shoulder. He ignored me and ran into the kitchen. I couldn't hear everything they were saying to each other, and Frank didn't sound too happy.

"No mum! Why should I?...but I don't wanna!..." 

He pushed back out of the kitchen, Linda right behind him. His eyes landed on me and I'm pretty sure that if looks could kill, I'd be gutted, skinned, turned inside out and thrown to the sharks...right then, I knew he wanted me dead.

"Get up..." 

He growled. I made some sort of an embarrassing whimpering noise, grabbed my bag and stood up, looking nervously between them.

"Mom says we gotta walk to school today...and I gotta take you. So move." 

He pointed to the front door.

"Frank Anthony Iero!..." 

Linda barked.

"I told you to be nice!..."

Frank shrugged and headed out the door. I felt my lip start to wobble and bit down on it, taking a few deep breaths as I followed him outside.

"Gerard?..." 

I turned back to Linda, my first tears of the day slipping down my cheeks.

"He really will come around...just give him time." 

She smiled, sadly. I nodded, unconvinced and left the house.  
Frank was already halfway down the road, striding away to put as much distance between us as possible. My shoulders slumped and I followed after him, but I made no attempt to catch up to him.  
It took us about ten minutes to get to school and Frank quickly disappeared into the crowd.

Along the way I'd dried my eyes, but I thought it best to check in the dreaded bathroom mirror and get a few tissues for the day while I was there.  
There was still twenty minutes till homeroom, so I headed into the bathroom just opposite my locker and peered at myself in the mirror. Just as I suspected...I looked dead!  
My skin was pale, my reddened eyes, sunken and circled with dark rings, and if I didn't get a haircut soon, I'd be able to braid it...fuck!...I'm a mess.

Turning on the cold faucet, I splashed my face a few times, then dried off with a paper towel...dropping it on the floor afterward as it seemed that some little idiot had decided to steal the trash can. I grabbed some tissues for later, cause I knew I'd need them, then left the bathroom. The corridor was quiet, apparently everyone had headed to homeroom already.  
I hurried toward the back hallway, where mine and Frank's classroom is.

As I skidded around the corner, my shoes sliding on the freshly washed linoleum, my heart leapt into my throat as I crashed straight into none other that Jason Walters...the asshole I'd had a run in with just yesterday.  
Suddenly, before I could even get my feet beneath me and moving, Jason and two of his evil minions had me slammed onto the ground, and were basically kicking the shit out of me. Not that I'm not used to it of course, but I would rather be anywhere but there.

I was curled up in a ball, with my knees to my chest and my arms wrapped protectively around my head as heavy blows came from three sides. My vision kept on blurring out, and my hearing was slipping too. Shit!...I was gonna pass out!  
Out of nowhere, probably from around the corner though I didn't see them arrive, a figure appeared behind Jason and kicked him in the back of the knee, sending him to the floor with a startled yelp. The other two stopped their assault on me, to turn and check on Jason.  
The figure...who I now saw was actually Frank...grabbed my hand and dragged me to my feet, before forcing me into a run. My vision was still wobbly, but my legs seemed to work ok, so I ran with him, unsure where we were going cause it certainly wasn't toward homeroom.

Eventually, we got to the back sports field and collapsed, panting on the grass.  
After a minute, just laying there trying to remember how to breath, I realised that my hand was still in Frank's. Blushing slightly, I pulled it free and sat up.  
Frank sat up and stared at me...I couldn't read his expression.  
Awkward, silent minutes stretched out...and then the bell for first period rang, breaking us from whatever trance state we'd fallen into. I jumped slightly at the intrusive noise and frowned, then pushed myself up onto my feet and turned toward the school. I took two steps away from where Frank remained, sat on the grass and turned to look back at him.

"Thank you." 

I whispered, then turned and walked away.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bullies send one of our boys to the hospital.
> 
> * * *

**Frank's POV**

 

"Thank you." 

Gerard whispered before walking away. I must be hallucinating...Gerard talked to me. He talked! Well technically it was a whisper, but he used words to communicate with me. No one has heard Gerard speak for years, and I'm the first person he chose to talk to. Holy fuck!

I sat on the ground for another moment, watching him walk away. After about a minute, I hurried to class.

"Frank, try to be on time next class, okay?" 

The teacher asked kindly as I entered. I nodded. As I made way to my seat, I noticed that Gerard wasn't there. I raised my hand to ask to use the restroom.

"Frank?" 

The teacher called on me.

"Can I use the bathroom?" 

I asked.

"No. You should've done that while you were out fooling around in the hall." 

She scowled. I groaned...God, I hope Gerard's just running late. Finally the bell rang, setting us free for a small break. I hurried down the halls in search of the defenseless mute. I searched for several minutes to no avail. No sign of Gerard. I went to my locker and grabbed my binders, but a light banging caught my attention as I thought about the whereabouts of Gerard. The banging was accompanied by a soft whimpering. I recognised the whimper. It was Gerard. He was in his locker. 

"Gerard?..." 

I asked...there was an excited sounding squeal type noise. Luckily, when Gerard got his combination I was with him, so I can open his door.

"Thirty-five..." 

I spun the lock right. 

"Nineteen..." 

Left. 

"Four..." 

Right again. I opened the door and Gerard came falling out. Instantly I noticed the cut on his head and that he'd clearly been crying. God Damn, I think he's afraid of the dark. I mean it's obvious after all he's probably been through...and the dark is quite lonely.

"Come on, let's go to the bathroom..." 

I said. He nodded obediently. In the bathroom I cleaned up that awful cut and dried his eyes.

"Who did this?..." 

I questioned, but he didn't respond.

"Okaaaay...back to silence..." 

I muttered sarcastically. He looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry..." 

I said, hugging him. He flinched but didn't pull away. I pat his back as I hugged him tightly.

"If they do it again, try to stand up for yourself..." 

I instructed. He gave me a sarcastic look. I knew what he wanted to say... 'Coming from you. You stand there and take it.'

"Okaaaay...lets go to...ummm...class." 

I suggested. He nodded and lead the way.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

When lunchtime finally arrived, I was going to slink off to the library...no point in me going to the cafeteria...but apparently, Frank had other ideas.

"Gee?..." 

I looked up from my bag as I stuffed my notepad inside.

"Why don't you come to the cafeteria with me? You don't wanna sit on your own, do ya?..."

I considered this for a moment...Was it a trick?...did he have friends I hadn't met yet, that would hurt me?...would Frank hurt me?  
I decided that it really didn't matter all that much if it was a trick...I'm used to getting beat, so I could handle it if it happened. I searched his eyes for any sign of deceit...and found none. Shrugging slightly, I put my bag up onto my shoulder and offered him a small smile. Frank grinned back at me.

"Cool, let's go..." 

Frank lead the way out of class and through the packed hallways. I kept a couple feet back from him, just in case he was leading me into a trap, and I'd have to run. After a few minutes, we arrived at the cafeteria...ok, so no trap.  
I followed him to the lunch line, and stood silently as he picked up a tray.

"Sure I can't tempt you?..." 

Frank grinned at me, pointing to something that made Linda's food look practically edible. I shook my head, wrinkling my nose at the less than appetising smell. Frank laughed.

"Can't say I blame ya. I wouldn't eat it myself, but I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby horse right now..." 

I raised an eyebrow and pointed at the 'food'. Frank giggled, like he got what I meant.

"Yeah...that just might _be_ a scabby horse..." 

I smiled shyly back at him. He looked happy.  
Frank turned toward the lunch lady, and his grin dropped. She had definitely heard him.

"Sorry..." 

He mumbled, as she slammed a plate full of...something indescribably disgusting onto his tray. Frank looked a little green as he peered down at the plate, then he looked at me.

"Come on..." 

He said in a weak voice. I nodded and followed him to the check-out. He put the tray down and placed his thumb onto a scanner. The machine beeped, and the lady standing behind it nodded to him, then turned to the next in line. Frank reluctantly picked up his tray and lead me toward a table right at the back.  
When we reached the empty table, Frank sat down. I stood awkwardly for a moment, before sliding into the seat opposite him. Frank scooped up a small spoonful of...whatever it was and taking a breath, I presume so he didn't have to smell it at the same time as tasting it...put it in his mouth.  
I watched his face as it screwed up in revolution, but then somehow he managed to swallow it. He looked up at me and grinned.

"Truth is..." 

He shrugged.

"I've had worse..." 

I smiled sympathetically, then pulled my sketch pad from my bag as he quite bizarrely continued to eat.  
A crashing noise from the lunch line made me jump and turn in my seat. Jason, the guy who seemed to want to see us both suffer, was shoving a couple of freshmen around. Frank kicked me slightly under the table. I turned to look at him.

"Don't look at them...they might not see us..." 

I nodded and went back to my drawing.

"Fuck!..." 

Frank muttered. I looked up.

"They've seen us..." 

I swallowed and bit my lip, but didn't look back. Frank was watching them through his hair as he ate.

"They're not coming over." 

He stated, quietly. I sighed in relief.  
A few minutes later, a girl I vaguely recognised from our Math class came over and started talking to Frank. She was asking him something about borrowing some notes...I zoned out, continuing to draw.  
After a minute or two, the girl's whiny voice was starting to annoy me, so I decided to go to the bathroom.  
Frank was clearly engrossed in the conversation and didn't so much as look up as I collected my things and left the table.

There was a boy's room just opposite the cafeteria, so I stepped in and went to pee. Just as I was zipping up the door opened and guess who walked in? Yep, that's right...fucking Jason!...and he wasn't alone!  
My heart started pounding in my chest as he smirked and headed my way.

"Well...look what we got here boys..." 

He sneered.

"It's the little freak who don't talk..." 

My lip trembled and I felt the first hot tears track down my cheeks.

.Let's see if we can make him scream..." 

I gasped and tried to dodge them as they came for me.

"Hold him!..." 

Jason barked, as his friends grabbed both my arms and pinned me to the wall. I struggled desperately, but they were just too strong. Suddenly Jason's fist flew at my face. I turned slightly avoiding a broken nose, but got a black eye instead. I squeaked in pain, and Jason grinned, wickedly.

"Guess you do got a voice..." 

He grabbed a handful of my hair and slammed my head back into the grey tiled wall. My vision spun and I saw stars. He did it again and again, by which point I could feel a sticky heat at the back of my head, and darkness was beginning to close in around me. Jason then sent his fist heavily into my gut, and my legs gave way beneath me.

"Alright boys...drop him!..." 

He ordered. His 'boys' let go of my arms and I collapsed to the ground, sobbing and trying to catch my breath.

"Let's go!" 

They each gave me a swift kick to the ribs, and then they were gone. Shaking and crying, I crawled into the nearest stall and curled up in the corner. Why can't they just leave me alone?  
I'd been there about five minutes when the door opened again. Terrified that it was Jason, back to give me another beating, I buried my face in my arms and tried to stay quiet.

"Gee?...you in here?..." 

It was Frank. He walked down the row of stalls till he reached the one I was in.

"Oh God Gee! What happened?..." 

He dropped to his knees in front of me, his hand reaching out to touch my shoulder. I flinched and looked up at him. He looked so sorry.

"Was it Jason?..." 

I nodded.

"That fucker!..." 

He spat, then softened his voice as I shrunk away from him.

Hey it's ok. You're safe now...I'm here..." 

I whimpered and looked at the floor. Frank frowned.

"Look Gee...I know I've not exactly been welcoming..." 

Understatement! 

"But I'm trying here. Maybe we can start again?...try being friends? What d'ya say?" 

He smiled hopefully at me. Still shaking slightly, I took a deep breath and did something I never thought I would again...I spoke. My voice was scratchy and quiet from lack of use. 

"W-when I was a y-young boy..." 

Frank looked shocked, but nodded for me to continue, shuffling into a more comfortable position and taking my hand in his.

"I w-was five. My m-mom and dad were...were m-murdered..." 

Frank's eyes grew wide and he silently slipped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me gently against him. I tensed for a moment, then let myself relax into his side, as tears soaked my face.

"I s-saw it h-happen. The m-men told me that if I e-ever talked about it...they'd f-find m-me, and k-k-kill me!" 

I sobbed heavily, burying my face in my hands.  
After a minute or two, I realised that Frank hadn't answered and that his arm was missing from around my back. I sniffed and slowly looked up. Frank's face was blank...zero expression. Fuck!...he really thinks I'm a freak now.  
I waited for a few more seconds, but he continued to stare into space. He doesn't give a shit!...my mind screamed at me. It's true, he doesn't!

I grabbed my bag and shot to my feet before running straight out of the toilets. My heart was thundering in my ears as I ran along the hallway and turned toward the front entrance...I was outta there!  
As I tore down a set of steps, I was vaguely aware that someone was standing to my right, but the tears in my eyes made it hard to tell who.  
It wasn't so hard when they grabbed me and started dragging me around the corner and down an abandoned corridor...Jason fucking Walters!

 

**Frank's POV**

 

Gerard finished speaking abruptly and we were both silent. Suddenly he was up and running from the bathroom. I began to stand up just as the door closed. I knew I'd likely never catch him before Jason managed to find him, but I had to try. I ran down the corridor, hoping I take the same hallways that Gerard had taken. I rounded a corner. Just my luck.  
Jason was looming over Gerard, who was on the floor with his knees tucked into his chest.

"Answer me mute!" 

Jason hissed...then he noticed me. Fuck! I spun around, but his little "minions" had already showed up. How the fuck do they do that? Show up the minute he thinks about it!...How?!  
The taller of the two (not to mention he's also the pudgier one of the two) grabbed my left arm and twisted it behind my back. I howled out in pain.

"Looks like your little friend can't save you now." 

Jason spat in Gerard's face. I tried to break free, to defend the boy, but to no avail.

"Stop!" 

I struggled to break free of tubby's grasp. I hand clasped over my mouth, and I bit down. A scream erupted, the sound of Gerard whimpering and the sound of my mangled pants.

"You little fucker!" 

I was shoved face-first into the floor. I looked up at Jason, who was towering over me. He flipped me over onto my back and slammed his foot down on my chest. I threw my head back, trying to at least knock myself out to make the pain stop. No such luck.

"Why do you do this?" 

I felt tears slip down my cheeks. Jason cackled.

"You're a fag. Simple enough." 

He laughed. His buddies snickered.

"Even if I am, what's it got to do with you?" 

I screeched as his foot slammed down on my chest again. I lost my breath and wheezed for a moment before he spoke.

"Lemme guess. You two are fuck buddies?" 

The smaller of the two minions giggled wildly.

"No!..." 

I growled. 

"But it's not your business if we were!"

Jason kicked my side roughly.

"Listen, faggot, don't disrespect me again, hear me?" 

Jason got in my face then threw me back hard onto the floor. I lifted myself to my elbows and watched them walk away down the lonely hall as we heard people coming back from lunch. I pushed up onto my feet and looked over at Gerard, he was crying. And not quietly, I might add.

"Are you okay?..." 

I held out my hand to help him up. He mads no eye contact and just got up on his own.

"Are you okay?..." 

I repeated. Nothing. I grabbed his shoulder, a little too roughly. He looked at me with terrified eyes.

"Gee, are you okay?..."

He shook his head, tears running down his perfect...err, I mean innocent? Yeah...his innocent face. I took his hand and I could feel him shaking. He looked at me with confusion as he and I neared my locker. I pulled out my bag and slung it over my left shoulder.

"You and I are going home..." 

I said horsely. He looked weak, like he can't walk too far. I could tell that he can't do much by the way he was limping.

"Do you want me to...um...I dunno...carry you? Well, not carry you, but like, help you?" 

I asked and he nodded slowly. I walked us out side with his arm around my shoulder and my arm around his back. I walked us hone, slowly but surely.  
Next time Jason, or anyone at all, touches Gerard...I'm gonna do some damage.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

My head hurts...my stomach and face too, but my head felt the worst.  
Frank tried to rescue me from that dickweed Jason, but we both ended up pretty beat up. Frank's took me back to the house...my arm around his shoulders, and his around my waist. He was holding me up, and I'm honestly grateful cause I don't think I could've walked far on my own.  
He kept trying to talk to me, but I couldn't answer him. I made a mistake before...I mustn't speak again!

When we reached the house, Frank let us in with his key. Linda told me last night that she was gonna get a key cut for me today. I'm not sure why she'd bother, it's not like I'll be here that long.  
Once inside, Frank took me up to his room and sat me on my bed.

"I'm gonna get the first aid kit. Just sit tight..." 

I nodded, and he disappeared out of the room. It felt like I might have a cracked rib or two...it's nothing new though. I sat silently waiting for Frank to return.  
When he came back after a couple minutes, he had what appeared to be a small suitcase in his hands. He chuckled at my shocked expression.

"You know my mum used to be a nurse, right?..." 

Oh yeah, I remember her telling me now.. That explains the oversized first aid kit, I guess. Frank placed it on the bed next to me and opened it up. It looked like half an E.R department was in there. He smiled at me as he dragged the desk chair over and sat on it in front of me.

"Ok, so what hurts?..." 

I put my hand against my ribs, then down to my stomach, then I pointed to my right eye, that I could practically feel swelling and closing up, then the left side of my jaw and finally, I pointed to the back of my head, but didn't touch it.

"Shit!..." 

Frank exclaimed.

"They got ya good, didn't they..." 

I nodded slightly, but it made my vision blur so I stopped, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"So let's take a look at the damage. Can you take your top off?..."

I don't like undressing in front of people...and I really don't want Frank to see my scars, but what choice do I have right now?  
Wincing at the pain that went through me, I slowly removed my hoodie and t-shirt in one go. I heard a gasp from Frank as I lifted the garments up over my head...shit! The tops brushed against the back of my head...that really hurt!  
As I struggled free of the tops, and dropped them on the floor next to the bed, Frank's hand reached out and brushed against my ribs. I yipped in pain and he removed his hand.

"Sorry..." 

He said, quietly.

"But Gee, this looks really bad. Like you could have broken ribs or something..." 

There's no doubt in my mind. I nodded slightly, not looking in his eyes.

"Gee?..." 

I frowned and looked up. He looked quite distressed.

"These...these scars..." 

I looked away.

"You did them, didn't you..." 

I closed my eyes, tears running down my cheeks.

.You don't have to do this. I don't want you to hurt yourself anymore!..." 

Why does he care? I looked up into his eyes. He looked so sincere.

"Please Gee?..." 

His hand reached out again and lightly traced over one of the bigger scars, just above my right hipbone. I shivered at the touch. I nodded, though I knew it was a promise I couldn't keep.  
Frank smiled sadly, then gently took my chin in his hand and turned my face so he could get a better look at the bruises growing over my eye and jaw.

"You got quite a shiner coming on..." 

He commented, gently prodding the sensitive skin. I winced and he shook his head.

"Sorry..." 

Then he turned to the giant first aid kit and started to dig around inside.

"They didn't break the skin, but you're gonna be funny colours for a while..." 

He continued to search for a couple minutes, then suddenly sat up straight with a tube of something in his hand.

"Ta-da!..." 

He showed me the tube, a big grin on his face. I had no idea what that stuff was and my face must've shown confusion cause Frank giggled, then explained what it was. Man, I love his giggle...wait, what? Shut up Geetard!...don't go there! 

"It's called Arnica cream. It doesn't stop bruises from forming, but it does make them go away quicker..." 

He popped the cap and squeezed a little onto his fingertips.

"This'll sting a little..." 

I nodded in understanding.

"Close your eyes..." 

I did, and a moment later I felt Frank's fingertips ghosting over my bruised skin. I bit my lip to stop from whimpering. He was right, it did sting!  
After he'd finished with my eye, and apparently my cheekbone too though that didn't hurt, he then turned my face the other way, and applied some of the cream to my jawline. Now that _did_ hurt!...I'm pretty sure Jason or one of his thugs had kicked me there. Again though...nothing new!  
God!...my head hurt! It was kind of eclipsing all the other pains now...that was sort of worrying.

I wanted to tell Frank to stop touching my face and take a look at the back of my head, but I couldn't.  
I'd spent 9 years in silence and the day I choose to speak, I get one of the worst beatings of my life...I don't think that's a coincidence...I think that's a punishment. I'm not meant to talk. They told me to never talk!

Frank was still stoking the cream over my jaw, though I'm sure he must've finished by now. I lifted my hand up and gingerly touched the back of my head. Something was wrong! It felt wet...sticky!  
I brought my fingers down in front of my eyes and sobbed as I saw them...red blood covering my fingertips. So much blood. Like in my dreams. Like mum and dad!  
My breath hitched as I started to shake. Suddenly Frank was examining my head, his hands gently parting my matted hair.

"It's ok Gee...you're gonna be ok..." 

Then he was laying me down and pulling his phone from his pocket. He looked down at me with concern as he waited for someone to pick up.

"Stay awake Gee, ok? You gotta stay awake!..." 

He held my hand in his. I could hear my heart thundering in my ears. Everything felt kinda surreal, kinda blurred.

"Hello?...Yes...Is Linda Iero there please?...Yes, I'm her son...Thank you..." 

Oh right...the phone call.

"Mom?...No, we're at home...Don't start mum. Look, Gerard got beaten up...Yes, of course I tried to stop it...Mom please, listen to me...I need you to come home. His head, it's bleeding...Ok...Ok, I will. I'll call you back!..." 

He hung up, then dialled 911. Oh fuck!...that can't be a good sign.

 

**Frank's POV**

 

Gerard was beginning to look weaker and weaker. After touching his head, and seeing the blood apon his fingers, he looked terrified.

"Gee, are you Okay? Stay awake, okay?..." 

I sat on the edge of his bed. He nodded slowly, staying silent. My voice was shaker than I intend. Gerard stared at me, a small sacred expression on his face.  
I sat him up again and looked at the wound. Fuck!...that's a lot of blood. I glanced down at the now blood stained pillow. Gerard's eyes darted to the pillow and he instantly looked taken aback.

"Just sit up. It'll be okay..." 

I tried to comfort him. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks as he stared at the red pillow.

"Please, don't cry. It's okay." 

I rubbed his shoulder but he flinched and I pulled my hand away. He cried even more, soon bringing his knees into his chest, wincing as his knees touched his ribs.  
Thumps on the stairs, followed by the door flinging open startled both of us. Mom stood there, looking nervous.

"I'm my gosh!" 

Was all Mom managed to say when she saw the wounded boy's head.  
Within five or so minutes, the paramedics arrived. A tall man dressed in white rushed in alongside a short, chubby man. They checked him over then carried Gerard down the stairs quickly. After putting him on a stretcher, they put him in the back of the ambulance. A look of horror crossed Gerard's face.

"Are either of you coming with us?" 

The taller man asked. Mom puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I'll meet you guys there." 

Mom walked to her car as I sat down in the ambulance beside Gerard. He whined slightly. The chubby man climbed into the front seat, and the skinnier of the two got in the back. He leaned over to Gerard.

"Can you hear me?" 

The man asked Gerard. Gerard nodded, silent.

* * *

Linda drove to the hospital quickly, seconds behind the ambulance that held her son and foster child. She followed the paramedics and Frank to a pale blue room that smelled of chemicals and Clorox wipes.  
Gerard was laid down in bed, looking around nervously while Frank and Linda sat down in two of the small plastic chairs that were just barely seven feet from the bed.  
A doctor soon came into the room, telling Linda that the head injury likely was prevented Gerard from speaking. Bot Frank and Linda tried to explain that Gerard didn't talk, but to no avail. They insisted it was because of the head injury.  
Gerard looked frail and weak, not to mention nervous as fuck. Linda watched Gerard with caring eyes, Frank with frightened ones.  
Linda knew that Gerard would be okay. So did Frank, but he was scared of what Gerard would think of him. He didn't exactly give a first good impression, or protect the defenseless boy all that well.

* * *

**Gerard's POV**

 

I'm in hospital!...Shit shit shitshitshit!...not good!  
I've been in and out of these places a lot over the last 9 years. Injuries, mental assessments and people trying to get me to talk, or eat. I hate these places!  
There's this doctor hovering over me right now. He's shining a light into my eyes. I want to punch him in the balls! He told Linda that my head injury was stopping me from talking.. LOOK AT MY DAMN NOTES, YOU MORON!!...or listen to Frank.  
He was trying to tell them, but they wouldn't listen. Even when Linda tried, they still insisted that it was all due to my head injury...apparently it's pretty bad. They're sending me for an MRI scan.

My vision keeps blurring in and out, so does my hearing. There's a nurse talking to me. I can't make out what she's saying. What's going on?...uh...where am I? My head hurts! Who are all these people?

There's this man in a white coat. He has a loud voice. He keeps shouting orders to people.  
I turn my head to try and look around the room. There's a woman and a boy in the corner. The boy's crying and the woman looks upset...I don't know who they are, though I feel I should.

"Can you tell me your name?" 

A woman says, to my right...honestly...I don't remember it!...What happened to me?...I don't understand this!

They're wheeling me down a corridor. I'm laying on my side on this bed-thing, and the boy's walking beside it. He's holding my hand...who is he?...he's cute!...do I know him?  
He keeps looking at me with worry and tears in his eyes.

"You're gonna be ok Gee." 

He said to me as he let go of my hand and I was wheeled away through some doors. Gee?...is that my name?

They put me in a machine. It was like a tight, lit up tunnel. It was loud. They told me to lay still...to close my eyes and relax. Yeah right!  
I want out! Let me out! I WANT OUT!  
I can't breathe!...I'm scared!...Someone help me please?!  
I felt my body start to shake, violently. I bit my tongue, and everything went sideways, and slipped away from me...

* * *

Gerard had a seizure while inside the MRI machine. The nurse technician turned the machine off and slid him back out. It took three nurses to hold him down while he shook and spasmed.  
When the seizure was over, Gerard was unconscious. They completed the scan, then he was taken back to the emergency treatment room.  
Frank and Linda were sat waiting for him. One of the nurses explained what had happened, and that the scan results would tell them more. Now, they just had to wait. 

Frank didn't like to wait!


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of gooey fluff for you...you know who you are (autobotsrolloutx) ;)  
> Xxx
> 
> * * *

**Frank's POV**

 

Soon after Gerard's seizure, I began to feel sick. I didn't defend him, and that bothers me. I'm an awful person.  
Gerard woke up eventually, nervous as fuck. He looked terrified.  
Mom just stepped out about ten minutes ago to get a coffee and I was alone with Gerard. Tears found their way out of his eyes as he realised he's in a hospital. He looked at me like I'm a stranger, which made me nervous. I got up and approached his bed. He sat up, just barely.

"Hey Gee..." 

I said weakly. His expression went blank like I'm not talking to him. He looked like we'd never met.

"Are you okay? You really worried me, man." 

I chuckled nervously. I sighed, remembering that okay or not, he probably isn't going to respond. The door opened, mom entering with a coffee in hand.

"You're up. Thank God..." 

She said to Gerard. Gerard looked panicked and I wanted to hug him so badly. But I didn't.

"God, the doctors are convinced that you can't talk because of your head..." 

Mom tried to lighten the mood. 

"And they won't believe Frank or I when we explain that you don't talk."

I shook my head and walked back to the chairs, slouching sadly. Mom sat down beside me quietly.  
Gerard's eyes met mine and for once, he didn't look away in fear. His eyes stayed trained on me. I smiled weakly but his face stayed blank. I let my head fall down as I gave up with trying to get him to like me. He doesn't, and won't ever like me. I don't blame him...I'm just...not good enough.  
Mom didn't seem to notice my feelings and took out her phone, tapping the screen rhythmically.  
I looked back to the frail boy across from me as he fell back onto his pillow, sighing sadly.  
I felt his pain. I let my head fall back against the wall, closing my eyes tightly.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

The cute boy looks sad. I want to hug him, but I don't even remember who he is, or who I am for that matter.  
The woman beside him is typing on a phone. I think it's his mum, but I'm not sure.  
The man in the white coat, a doctor, I presume, comes back in the room. He walked over to me and started shining a penlight in my eyes again...I really want to punch him! 

"Gerard. You have a severe concussion, and I believe it's affecting your ability to speak."

He opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by the boy jumping up from his seat and rushing over.

"NO!.." 

He exclaimed loudly.

"He didn't talk _before_!...it's not cause of the injury!" 

What?...I don't talk?...Why?

"Really?..." 

The doctor said, sounding dubious.

"And why not?" 

Yeah, I'd like to know that too.

"Cause of something that happened when he was five...I can't say what cause it's not my story." 

Well that helps...not!

"Really?..." 

The doctor actually sounded like he believed it now.

"Well, that's inconvenient." 

You're telling me!  
The boy shrugged then stepped toward me, offering me a nervous smile.

"It's gonna be ok Gee..." 

He took my hand in his.

"Don't worry."

Huh, easy for you to say.  
I frowned slightly, biting my lip as I tried to hold back my tears. He reached out and tucked my hair behind my right ear. I flinched, and he withdrew his hand. Why did I flinch?...why can't I fucking remember him? You'd think with a face like that I'd have no problem recalling him, but no!...the boy, like everything else, is gone from my head.

A few minutes later, after the doctor had left, there was a soft knock at the door, and a woman stuck her head inside.

"Maggie?..." 

The boy's mum cried out, and then the two women were hugging.

"Oh it's awful Maggie. He's got concussion. I knew you'd want to know."

The other woman, Maggie, nodded.

"Thank you for calling me Lin..." 

Then she turned toward me, a bright smile on her face.

"Hi Gee...how you feeling?..." 

I looked up at the boy, who still held my hand, trying to convey through my eyes that I had no clue as to who this woman was.

"Gee?..." 

I looked blankly back at her, trying to shuffle further away and closer to the boy...I really need to learn his name. Maggie, or whatever her name is, stepped right up to my bedside.

"Gee?...it's me, Maggie!..." 

She turned to address the boy.

"Frank...what happened? He doesn't look like he knows me." 

Ah...Frank. Hmmm, suits him. He squeezed my hand gently.

"Yeah. I don't think he recognises me either..." 

He looked upset.

"He got hit on the head at school. Some bully got to him. I tried to stop it, I really did...but they were too strong for me..." 

He looked glumly down at his shoes.

"I tried."

"I'm sure you did..." 

Maggie said as Frank's mom stepped over and placed a comforting arm around his shoulders.

"What have the doctors said about this?"

Frank scoffed.

"We only just managed to persuade them that he didn't talk before this. They don't seem very interested in our opinions." 

He met my eyes and smiled softly at me. I smiled back, shyly. His smile spread into a grin and I felt myself blush. He giggled slightly and stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. I knew what he was doing, trying to keep me calm and reassure me that I'd be alright...and I was honestly grateful to him for it, even if I didn't remember him at all.  
Maggie said she was going to go talk to the doctor, and Frank's mom went to sit down again. Frank stayed by my side, just holding my hand and smiling gently at me...I could look at his smile all day...so cute!

When Maggie returned, the doctor was with her, and he had this look like he'd just been told off. I assume that Maggie gave him a piece of her mind for not listening to Frank and his mom.

"So, Gerard...Miss Hardcastle tells me that you might be having problems with your memory...is that true?..." 

I nodded slightly, then looked up at Frank, pleading with my eyes for him to talk for me. The doctor turned to Frank.

"Well?"

Asshole!

 

**Frank's POV**

 

The doctor walked out of the room and I held Gerard's hand, trying to calm him. He shook quite obviously.  
Maggie, that annoying adoption chick, wouldn't shut the fuck up. Mid sentence, I was drawn into the conversation by six simple words.

"Maybe he shouldn't live with you." 

Maggie said. I snapped my head towards her, dumbfounded.

"What?" 

I questioned, anxiety rising in the pit of my stomach. No way was she taking away Gerard.

"Maybe he should go back to the adoption centre." 

Maggie elaborated.

"No..." 

I begged. Mom looked at me, awe and shock spreading about her face. She was as surprised by my next words as I was. 

"I like him...don't make him go..."

Mom smiled fondly, but I ignored it and turned back to Gee.

"Gee, don't you wanna stay?" 

I pleaded. He looked nervous...why wasn't he looking at me like before?...was he mad at me?

"Maggie, can you please reconsider?" 

Mom asked the bitch (Yep. She's a bitch. I went there.)

"I really don't think they'd be a good idea." 

Maggie shook her head. I teared up a little and felt Gerard's thumb graze over the back of my hand comfortingly.

"Gee, you wanna stay with us, right?" 

Nod please...do something?

"I think it's best for me to take him back." 

I really wanted punch this bitch.

"But I tried to protect him! He's okay, isn't he?"

"Listen Frank, he hit his head pretty bad, obviously he's not okay."

The door opened just as I opened my mouth to holler 'You fucking bitch! He's okay!' But I was cut off.

"Hello, again." 

The doctor said, trying to lighten things up.

"Is he okay?" 

I asked impatiently.

"Well...yes, but no. He is in an okay condition physically, but the concussion he's suffered has left him with amnesia..."

He said solemnly.

"Hopefully only temporary though."

My heart sank and I nodded slowly.

"Ah...could we have a moment?" 

Maggie asked in her Bitchy tone.

"Of course." 

The doctor stepped back out.

"Gee..." 

I looked at the pale, weak boy. He didn't know me.

"This is just what I thought." 

Maggie scoffed. I spun around to face her, dropping Gerard's hand.

"He's fine! He'll be okay...just let him stay with us...please?" 

I could feel my face redden.

"Do you hear yourself? Honestly, he doesn't even know you. I doubt it'll make a difference in his life." 

She sneered. Mom looked at her with disbelief.

"Listen, let Gerard choose." 

I begged like a child.

"Fine." 

She nodded with a roll of her eyes. We all looked back at Gerard.

"Gee, who would you like to go with?" 

I asked him. His eyes cut between me and Maggie. Shakily, he raised his hand and pointed to me. I felt like jumping up and down, but I decide to sit still.

"Are you sure?" 

Bitch asked. He nodded, biting his lower lip like he's afraid of her. I glared at Maggie and she let out a groan, but then nodded. 

"Fine. But next time something like this happens, he's gone. No exceptions."

Mom said something to her, but I didn't listen and turned to stare at Gerard, suddenly seeing him in a new light.

"Frank, I'm gonna go get a coffee." 

Mom said.

"I'll join you." 

Bitch replied. I nodded, staring at my friend.  
The door closed as the two left the room, leaving Gee and I alone. I stared into his eyes for a moment. He looked nervous and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around him. He flinched, but soon adjusted and hugged back. I smiled against his shoulder.  
After a minute I pulled away to look into his eyes.

"I'll never let them do that again." 

I whispered. He looked at me with a small smile on his lips.  
God, I think I like Gerard. 

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

Ok, so I had to choose between two people I don't even know. I had to decide if I wanted to go with Maggie, the bitchy social worker lady, or Frank, the cute boy who's smile gives me butterflies...easy choice really!  
I pointed shyly at Frank, and was rewarded with one of his smiles.

"Are you sure?..." 

Maggie asked me. I nodded. I don't like her. 

"Fine..." 

She continued, turning to Frank's mum.

"But next time something like this happens, he's gone. No exceptions."

The two women left to get coffee, and I was left alone with Frank.  
Suddenly he was hugging me, I flinched, but then relaxed against him. His arms felt warm and strong around me, and he smelled really good too, like coffee and skittles. Sweet.

"I'll never let them do that again..." 

He whispered, looking in my eyes.

"You can trust me Gee. Please trust me?"

I swallowed nervously. They kept saying that I don't talk, something to do with my past, but I don't remember my past, so what's stopping me now? I didn't want to talk when that Maggie bitch was here, but she's gone now.

"F-Frank?" 

I murmured. Frank's eyes widened and his smile brightened even more.

"Gee?...you ok?"

I bit my lip and leaned into his arms, resting my aching head on his chest.

"I...I don't remember. I don't know w-what happened, but I t-trust you..." 

I lifted my head to look at him.

"You won't hurt me, will you?"

Frank shook his head decisively.

"Never!...I'm gonna keep you safe Gee, whatever it takes."

I smiled up at him, getting lost in those eyes. Do I like him?...too early to say. Did I like him before...whatever happened to me? I don't know, but there was something there, I think. I just didn't know if he felt it too. I yawned wide and Frank giggled softly.

"Get some sleep sweetie. I'll be here."

Sweetie?...did he just call me...sweetie?...Dayum!  
Hesitantly, worried of his response, I leaned up and softly kissed his lips, then pulled back and closed my eyes, expecting the worst.  
I wasn't expecting what I got.

 

**Frank's POV**

 

As Gerard pulled away, I pulled him back in. I locked our lips as I held him against me. I heard footsteps from outside the door so I stopped kissing the fragile boy. The door opened just as I spun around. Mom and Maggie walked in with coffees in their hands.

"Hey." 

I said. Maggie glared at me, but Mom smiled kindly.

"Hi..." 

She smiled. Her smile faded though before she spoke again. 

"So, uh, Gerard. I ran into the doctor in the hall, and uh...you gotta stay here for the night. Sorry."

I looked back and Gee looked scared. I looked into his eyes and see that he's silently asking me to stay with him.

"Uh, Mom, can I stay with him?" 

I asked quietly. She looked surprised, but she nodded.

"Yes, if you'd like." 

She smiled. Gee looked at me, joy written about his pale face.

"What time is it?" 

I inquired quietly. Mom took out her phone and quickly unlocked the screen. 

"Eight." 

"You should probably get going soon..." 

I smiled. 

"But do you got an extra phone charger in your purse?"

"I do..." 

She nodded. She walked over to her chair and dug through her purse. She pulled out a charger and spun around, walking over and handing it to me.

"I'm using yours while you're gone."

"Sure, I think it's on my nightstand."

Mom smiled then turned to talk to Maggie for few minutes more. I sat in my chair, patiently waiting for them to get the fuck out so I could kiss Gerard again.  
Finally, I was snapped back to reality.

"Bye, Frankie. I'll come get you two in the morning." 

Mom hugged me and then Gerard. The minute her and Maggie were gone, I stood up and approached Gerard.

"Gee?..." 

I asked, cause he looked nervous. He perked his head up and smiles weakly. I sat on the edge of his bed and pulled out my phone.

"Wanna listen to music?" 

I asked. He nodded.

"What kinda music do you like?"

"I don't know." 

He is so friggen quiet.

"I have Smashing Pumpkins...1979 okay with you?" 

I asked. He shrugged, smiling. I started the song and the room was filled with the sound of a guitar and drums in the background. I hummed along. After a minute I scooted next to him, and he actually didn't flinch. I leaned in and kissed him again. He wrapped his arms around my neck as I deepened the kiss.

"Gee, I like you...a lot." 

I said once we were apart.

"I like you too." 

He whispered. I lay us back onto the pillows, placed my phone behind me and wrapped my arms around his waist. I kissed his cheek as I closed my eyes.

I was awoken by a loud shriek...Gerard thrashing around in my arms.

"Gee..." 

I murmured as I stroked his hair. He opened his eyes, gasping for air suddenly.

"You okay?" 

I asked, rubbing his back. He nodded slowly. I suddenly noticed the music playing...She, by Green Day was playing quietly. I grabbed my phone and looked at the time...3:57am.

"Sorry." 

Gee said quietly.

"S'okay..." 

I stroked his hair before shutting off the song and rolling back onto the pillows.

"Try to go back to sleep, okay?" 

I mumbled to Gerard. He nodded and placed his head in the crook of my neck. I yawned as I close my eyes yet again.

Silence was suddenly interrupted by a blast of sound all at once.

"Frank? Why are you Gerard's bed?" 

Mom's voice called out to me. I opened my eyes and there's mom, standing over me looking confused.

"Why are you in his bed?" 

She questioned again.

"I uh, didn't wanna sleep in the chairs."

I glanced over, and there's Gee, just waking up.

"Okay..." 

Mom nodded. I know she thinks we did more than sleep. I felt my face heat up.

"Well Gerard, you can come home, so let's go."

Mom sounded tired. After Gerard was discharged, we headed out. Ten minutes later, we were in mom's car.

"So, how'd you sleep?..." 

Mom asked. 

"Like, did you cuddle? You better not have gone farther!"

I was shocked that mom would suggest that.

"Christ, mom! Stooop!" 

I whined and Gee giggled quietly. I glared at him fakely. I chose to sit in the back with Gee, so I'd have a full view of his adorableness. I playfully punched his arm and a rather loud giggle escaped his pale pink lips. Mom glanced at us in her mirror. I smiled wide and she shook her head and looked back at the road.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

When we reached what I presume to be Frank and Linda's home, Linda went to open the front door while Frank got out and offered me his hand, helping me out of the car. He grinned at me as I hesitantly put my hand in his.

"Come on sweetie..." 

He hummed, quietly.

"Let's get you inside."

I blushed at the name he just called me, and followed him into the house.

"I'm gonna make sandwiches for lunch..." 

Linda called as she headed into the kitchen.

"You boys hungry?"

"Yeah mom..." 

Frank called back, before turning to me and whispering conspiratorially.

"She can't fuck up sandwiches..." 

He winked, and I giggled. He grinned, brightly.

"You want sandwiches?" 

There was something almost disbelieving in his tone. I wonder why?

"Sure." 

I said softly. Why wouldn't I?  
We went into the kitchen and Frank sat me down at their little kitchen table, before going to get us drinks.

"Do you want juice?..." 

I nodded and Frank got out three glasses, then a jug of orange juice from the fridge. He brought them over to the table and poured equal amounts into each, then handed me one.

"There you go." 

He smiled. I smiled back as I accepted it and took a sip.

"Ham and tomato ok?" 

Linda asked as she got the ingredients out. Frank and I both nodded.  
Frank sat down next to me, shuffling his chair closer. Linda had her back to us as she prepared lunch and Frank placed his hand gently on my knee under the table. I jumped slightly and felt my cheeks heat up. Frank leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"You're cute...you know that?..." 

I could feel my heart race in my chest.

"I want to kiss you again."

Linda turned around and Frank sat back up straight, an innocent smile on his face. I felt like I couldn't breath. What was he doing to me?

"Here you go..." 

Linda said as she put plates in front of us.

"Oh, by the way, I have to pop out this afternoon. You two will be ok on your own, right?" 

She took a bite of her sandwich.

"Of course..." 

Frank grinned and nodded, then turned to me.

"We'll be alright, won't we."

I swallowed the bite I was chewing and nodded silently. The food tasted ok, but it seemed to sit heavy in my stomach, like I wasn't used to it or something. I put the sandwich down and drank some of the juice.  
After we'd finished lunch, well I only ate a few bites but Frank and Linda finished theirs, Frank took me up to what he said is our room, while Linda cleared up the kitchen then got ready to go out.

"What do you wanna do?..." 

Frank asked me as he sat beside me on the edge of my bed. I shrugged, looking down at my hands and hiding in my hair.

"We could make out." 

Frank suggested, a cheeky grin on his face. I looked up into his eyes, my cheeks were on fire.

"O-ok." 

I stuttered, quietly. Frank grinned, wrapped his arms around me and leaned in.  
My God!...this was actually happening.


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kissing, take out and memories...oh my.
> 
> Just one more chapter after this and I warn you...it's not a happy one!
> 
> Enjoy.  
> Xxx
> 
> * * *

**Frank's POV**

 

I leant in and kissed Gerard, my arms snaking around him. I ran my tongue across his lips, hoping he'd open his mouth, which he did, giving me a chance to let my tongue dart into his mouth. He didn't even bother to try to fight over dominance. I rubbed his back a little as I lay him down onto the bed.  
I broke the kiss for a few seconds to adjust my position. I lay atop of Gerard and kissed him again.

"Frank? What the fuck are you doing?" 

Mom was suddenly in the doorway. Shit!

"Um..." 

I instantly got off of Gee. He whined quietly.

"When did you...get so fond of each other?" 

She quirked an eyebrow. Wow, this is awkward as fuck.

"I don't know. So what do you want...we're kinda busy here." 

Oh God, why did I say that?

"I'm leaving for a bit. I'll be back later..." 

She said slowly. 

"But before I go, I need to talk to you..."

I nodded. She stepped in and sat on the bed.

"So...um...I just want you to know, I accept you..." 

Jesus mom, shut up! 

"...and if you two are...together, that's okay. But I want you to be safe...use condoms and be careful. Wouldn't want anyone incapable of walking." 

Oh my fucking God! I already went to 9th grade health, shut your mouth!

"Mom..." 

I whined. Gerard looked mortified. 

"Stop, we've already gone through this in school."

"Alright, but as long as you know what hurts..."

"OHMYGOD,GETOUT!!!" 

I didn't even separate my words.

"Kay, love you..." 

She kissed my head. 

"Bye, Gerard..."

She hugged the tomato red boy. He nodded and stared straight ahead.

"Also, if you need any protection, there's some in the downstairs bathroom...in the cabinet."

With that, she was out of the room. I looked at Gerard and smiled weakly. 

"Sorry. That was...awkward."

"It was...wanna keep kissing, or...?" 

Gerard asked quietly.

"Sure."

I smiled wide. He quickly latched his lips to mine and I moaned in surprise, not expecting that at all. 

 

_~Time passes-A few hours later~_

 

A while ago, Gee and I decided to go downstairs and watch T.V. While in the middle of a Dr. Who marathon, mom walked in.

"Please tell me you used protection?" 

She sat down beside Gerard.

"MOOOOM! We didn't." 

I shook my head.

"Why not?...are the condoms I have not good enough for you?"

"No, we didn't do anything!"

"Okay." 

She rolled her eyes. Gerard looked at his feet, just as disturbed as I am.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

Linda was so enthusiastic about Frank and I...it was really quite disturbing.  
We'd been sat watching movies, Frank with his arm wrapped around my shoulders and me with my head on his chest, but Linda kept staring at us, with this big grin on her face, that kinda reminded me of the Joker...wait, since when do I remember the Joker? Hey, maybe my memory's coming back. But wow!...what a random first thing to recall!  
It was nearly 7 o'clock when Linda realised that she forgot to start dinner.

"Frank!...why didn't you remind me?"

"Oh, sorry mom..." 

He smirked slightly.

"But wouldn't it be nice to have a take out to celebrate Gee's homecoming?"

Linda smiled at us.

"Yeah I guess so. Any preference?"

"Chinese?..." 

Frank suggested.

"We can get a selection and find out what Gee likes...that ok sweetie?" 

He looked down at me and I smiled, nodding slightly. I don't know why I can't seem to talk in front of Linda...she's not scary or anything, just a little inappropriate at times.

"Ok then...I'll go order a large taster meal, don't do anything I wouldn't do while I'm gone, will you?" 

She winked, disappearing into the kitchen. 

"Is she always l-like that?" 

I asked quietly, trying to ignore the fact that my cheeks were on fire. Frank giggled.

"Nah baby...this is a first."

I considered this for a moment.

"She's weird." 

I concluded. Frank burst out into loud laughter, just as Linda returned.

"What's so funny?"

Frank looked down at me with tears in his happy eyes. I begged him with the look I gave to not tell her...apparently he didn't get the message.

"Gee thinks you're weird." 

Frank blurted, collapsing into fresh fits of laughter as I groaned in embarrassment, hit Frank's arm then buried my tomato hued face in the nearest cushion, flat out refusing to come out til they'd both stopped laughing. Once they'd calmed down enough to speak whole sentences, without falling apart, I reemerged from hiding, my cheeks now only a tiny bit redder than normal.  
When the food arrived, half way through some trippy horror movie called Poultygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, (A/N real movie...totally weird!) Linda went to the door and returned a minute later with two large bags that smelled absolutely delicious.  
She pulled box after box out and placed them on the coffee table in front of the sofa, then disappeared back into the kitchen and came back with three plates, forks and cans of Sprite.

"Dig in." 

She said, grabbing a box and depositing what looked like pork in some kind of sauce onto her plate. I looked at Frank, a little overwhelmed by the amount of choices. He smiled at me.

"Just try a little from each box. If you like one, put the box on your right, if you don't, then put it on the left."

I nodded and picked up the box closest to me. Opening the lid, I peered inside. I saw several different vegetables with a clear glaze and sesame seeds. They looked and smelled good, so I stabbed a piece with my fork and tentatively tried it. Delicious!  
I decided that I didn't want to try anything else, so I held onto the box and ate straight out of it. Frank grinned at me.

"Ya like that?..." 

I nodded as I chewed on what I think was a bean sprout. Frank reached a hand up and pushed my hair behind my ear.

"Eat as much as you want, ok baby?"

I nodded and we all settled down to enjoy the meal. I didn't really eat all that much, a third of the box maybe...but Frank and Linda seemed happy with that.  
I wanted to eat more, cause it tasted so damn good, I just couldn't though. My stomach wouldn't let me.  
Linda must've seen my upset, cause she told me that there was always leftovers when they had Chinese, and that I could pick at it any time I liked. It would all be in the fridge until the following night.  
I smiled at her in thanks, then yawned wide.

"Tired baby?..." 

Frank cooed, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me into his side. I nodded, resting my head on his shoulder and yawning again. Frank chuckled. 

"Let's get ya up to bed then..."

I nodded and Frank helped me up, then we headed toward the stairs.

"Night mom." 

Frank called over his shoulder.

"Night boys..." 

Linda replied.

"Oh, hold on...I've got something for you." 

Frank and I looked at each other as she stood up and walked over, her hand digging into her pocket.

"What is it?..." 

Frank asked. Linda smirked and shoved a condom into Frank's hand.

"MOM!!" 

Frank screeched, dropping the packet like it was hot...almost as hot as my face felt.

"Just in case." 

She winked, then turned and started to clear up the Chinese boxes, as if nothing had happened. Frank face palmed and shook his head, before starting to lead me away. I stopped him and whispered in his ear. Frank's eyes grew wide, then he nodded enthusiastically.  
I stepped silently back into the living room. Linda had her back toward me as she continued to tidy up. Slowly, I leaned down and scooped up the condom from the floor, then straightened up, turned and walked back toward Frank, who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Have fun boys!" 

Linda giggled. Frank and I both face palmed, then grinned and headed up to our room.

 

**Frank's POV**

 

"I'm up for it if you are." 

Gerard whispered into my ear. I nodded, a childish grin playing on my lips. He quickly picked up the condom while mom's back was turned.

"Have fun boys!" 

Mom called out with a giggle. Gerard went red, and we both face palmed dramatically. We hurried back up to the room, although I don't see why we hurried...it's not like we were in any rush.  
I opened the door, walked in and closed it. Instantly, Gerard and I had our hands on each other. I kissed him roughly, a small moan escaping him. Gerard broke the kiss for a moment, pouncing onto the nearest bed (which happened to be mine- not that I was thinking about that right then). I followed, stradling him, our lips meeting again.  
I kissed down his jaw, small whimpers coming from the boy. I lightly nipped at his neck, earning a rather loud yelp.  
As I sucked at the delicate skin on his neck, Gerard ground against me, driving me insane. I could feel how "happy" he was against my thigh.

"Gerard, Jesus." 

I breathed out. He giggled and continued to rub himself against me.  
Running my hand down his chest and stopping just above his crotch, I played with Gerard a little. He was growing inpatient, and boy was it obvious. He tugged at the hem of my shirt. I managed to pull off the clothing with one single motion, Gerard's eyes trained on me. I pulled his shirt over his head, revealing bruises from those dicks that hurt him. I winced, knowing how it feels.

Our eyes met and I kissed him again. He pushed me off of him, to the side and crawled on top of me, grinning like an idiot. Eagerly, I began to unbutton his jeans. Suddenly he swatted my hands away. I looked up to find his expression terrified. His eyes were wide and full of fear.

Gerard bounced off of me, sprinting for the bathroom within seconds, the door slamming behind him. I sat up on my elbows. What the fuck just happened?  
I quickly walked over to the door and knocked lightly.

"Gee?" 

I questioned. There was a whimper from behind the door. What do I just do?

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

I was enjoying what was happening between Frank and me, until I got this like memory or flashback...or something.  
Just as Frank started to undo my pants, I got this sudden and crippling feeling of terror, and images flashed through my mind, ones that must have reflected in my eyes...and I bolted. I just up and ran for the bathroom, slamming the door and collapsing against it.  
Then those memories came flooding back...

 

_"We're off out boys. There's money for pizza in the kitchen. Play nice, we'll be back about midnight."_

_Then my foster parents at the time, Judith and Malcolm, left for their anniversary dinner. I was sat on the couch, cross legged in my Batman pjs, watching some crappy sci-fi movie when my stepbrother Robert came into the room._  
_Robert was 17 and I was only 11 at the time, so we hadn't really got much in common...plus, y'know, there's the whole "me not talking" thing._  
_He came over and sat next to me. Too close...I don't like people too close. I shifted a little away, but suddenly he was on top of me...pinning me down...touching me...kissing me and despite how hard I struggled, he was just so much fucking stronger than I was._

I lost my virginity that night to that sick perverted rapist son of a bitch...and for the next two months that I stayed there...before I finally did something bad enough for them to send me packing...Robert continued to visit me most nights, using my own socks to gag me from making a sound. He also took every opportunity to "babysit" me.

I remembered...but oh, how I wish I didn't.  
I could hear Frank through the door. He was trying to talk to me...trying to get me to open up...but all I could do was sit there and gasp for breath that I didn't seem able to get.  
I was headed into a major panic attack and I didn't think there was anything I could do to stop it.  
There was black spots invading my vision, and I knew I was going to pass out very soon.

"Frankie." 

I whispered, as everything turns to black.

 

**Frank's POV**

 

I begged Gee to come out. I repeated his name, hoping he'd open the door. I knocked a few times, but nothing helped.

"Gee. Honey, please come out..." 

I pleaded. 

"Honey?..."

I turned the knob, the door didn't budge. I gave the door a hard shove, but nothing happened.

"MOM!..." 

I yelled. 

"MOM, PLEASE COME UP HERE!"

This is my fault...was all I could think about. All my fault. The bedroom door flung open, Mom standing there.

"What happened?" 

She asked. Hmmm...how do I tell her we were about to have sex when Gerard panicked?

"We um...were um...uhh...about to...uhh...and he um. He ran into the bathroom and won't come out." 

I explained awkwardly. She bit her lower lip.

"You didn't push him to do anything he did not want, did you?" 

She quirked an eyebrow.

"No, mom..." 

I shook my head. 

"I don't think I did."

I didn't push him into what I wanted...did I? Mom was suddenly standing beside me, knocking at the bathroom door.

"Gerard? Hun could you unlock the door?" 

Mom asked. No reply of course.

 

_~Time passes- One hour later~_

 

Mom and I had been trying to open the door, but with no luck. But then, mom thought of an idea. Pick the lock.  
When we got the door open, there he was...Gerard. One problem though...he's passed out in the middle of the floor.

"Gee, baby?..." 

I knelt beside him, shaking him lightly. 

"Gee?"

He whimpered quietly. He moved a little but that was it basically. Slight stirring, a little noise. That's all.  
I sniffled. Mom came in and picked him up. She carried him into our room and lay him on his bed. She told me to let him rest and he should be okay. Then she left the room.  
I crawled into Gee's bed and cuddled him to me. My arms were snaked around his waist and my head on his chest. I closed my eyes, tired and just wanting to rest.

"Frankie." 

I heard Gerard mumble but I was too tired to fully acknowledge him. I drifted off to sleep, not ever letting go of Gerard.


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end...and I really hope you brought your tissues, you're gonna need them.
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Trigger warning on this one...please be safe.**
> 
> * * *

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

I woke up in a darkened room, with arms wrapped firmly around me.  
My memories, dreams or whatever they were, suddenly sent me into a panic. I screamed and thrashed around, trying to break the arm's hold on me. They just gripped tighter, and whoever holding me was trying to calm me down, but I wasn't having it.  
I was trapped and scared and all I could think was that it was my foster brother, Robert.  
I was throwing myself around and kicking out, but he wouldn't let me go. I was starting to hyperventilate, and I felt like I was gonna die.  
I couldn't give in. If I did, Robert would hurt me again.  
Everything was getting a bit hazy, and my world suddenly went upside down, back to front, and inside out. I bucked one last time, then everything went black.

The next time I awoke, sunlight was filtering in through the curtains and I was alone in Frank's room.  
Frank!...it had been Frank holding me before. What have I done?  
Feeling tears on my face, I buried myself under my pillow and sobbed dejectedly. Frank would hate me now...like every foster brother or sister I'd ever had...

Wait!...I remember them!...and not just Robert, but all of them. And I remember everything else too.  
Oh God!...I spoke!...I told Frankie about those men...they said they'd come get me if I ever told!...how could I be so stupid?...why didn't I keep my dumb mouth shut?

I'm dead!...they're gonna come find me, and they're gonna rip me apart; that's what they told me and I believe it.  
That's it!...no more talking...ever.

I wiped my eyes with the corner of my blanket and shuffled up into a sitting position. Then I grabbed my sketch pad and pencil, turned to the back page and took a deep breath before starting to write.

 

_Dear Frankie,_  
_I know you probably hate me now, and I'm used to that, so don't worry, but I just wanted to say- You protected me and listened to me and you didn't judge me...so thank you! I know you won't understand this, but I should never have spoken, and now it's only a matter of time before they come for me. So I wanted to say goodbye, the only way I can. I won't be here for much longer, cause either they'll get me, or you and your mum will send me back, and either way, I'll be dead within the month._  
_So please, have a good life and be happy...I love you!...and I'm sorry for invading your perfect world._  
_G. xxx_

 

I pulled the paper out of the back of my book and folded it in half, then got up and walked on shaky legs to Frank's bed.  
I placed the paper on his pillow, then turned and climbed back in my bed. What was the point in doing anything anymore? Why can't I just go to sleep, and never wake up again?

 

**Frank's POV**

 

When I woke up, the dim room slowly came into focus. The sun was just barely up, so the world seems to still be dark. I sat up slowly, running a hand through my messy hair. I looked down at Gee sleeping quietly beside me in his bed, I was glad his nightmares had stopped...for now.  
After a few minutes, I gently kissed Gee's cheek then got up and went downstairs to get a drink.

When I went back upstairs, I went to lay down with Gerard again, but stopped as he had shifted and was now curled up with his blanket over his head. I smiled softly and walked over to my own bed. I was going to lay down but realised there was something in my bed. I moved to retrieve it. It was a slightly wrinkled piece of paper, folded in half. I unfold it and instantly recognised the handwriting. It was Gerard's.

I read the letter. So many questions raced through my mind. Does he actually love me?...What makes him think I would hate him now?...Why the Hell would mom and I send him back?  
I got out of bed, setting the note back onto the pillow. I walked quietly to Gerard's bedside.

"Gee..." 

I said quietly, as I lightly shook him. He groaned as I pulled the blanket off his face. His eyes wearily swept over me, studying me.

"Gee..." 

I whispered. His eyes stayed trained on me for maybe 30 seconds...then they darted away. I frowned. 

"What's wrong? You know you can tell me..."

Nothing. His eyes stayed cast over to the corner of the room. I sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. I slowly hugged him, my arms wrapping around his small frame.

"I love you too." 

I whispered. He stayed stiff as if I'm not there. I pulled away, staring at him...it was like he didn't care. I whimpered quietly and shook my head.  
I got up and stomped to my bed. I crumpled the note and whipped it at the wall. I pulled my blanket over my head, feeling hurt.

 

_~Time passes~_

 

It was lunch and Gerard was still sitting in the room...he hadn't really acknowledged me at all. I ate silently at the table, blankly looking at my plate. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gerard wander into the living room. He was sluggish and looked just as sad as I felt.  
After eating, I went into the living room. Gee was sat on the couch, zoned out on the tv. He didn't even look at me.

"Gerard, please talk to me?..." 

I begged. He looked at me, but only for seconds. He then looked back at whatever he was watching.

"Fine. I'm going to bed." 

I dragged my feet as I went up to my room. I decided to listen to music. Soon, the only sound I could hear was the edgy tune of a Misfits song, filling my bedroom. I locked the door and sat on my bed, tears slipping down my cheeks.

 

**Gerard's POV**

 

"Fine. I'm going to bed." 

Frank dragged his feet as he disappeared up the stairs. I felt the tickle of tears as they trailed down my cheeks. No, don't cry. This is for the best...he'll thank me later, when he's got his room and his life back...When I'm dead and gone!  
Of course, what I really want to do is go up there and hug him...tell him everything's gonna be ok and that I'll never leave him...but I can't...it wouldn't be true.

Wiping the moisture from my face, I tried to think of what I could write him to make him understand. He looked so sad...I can't just leave it like that.  
Linda walked in from the kitchen.

"Oh, hi Gee. Did you want any dinner? You were asleep before, but I kept some for you..." 

She smiled, hopefully.  
Oh yeah...I ate too. Yuk!...I felt sick just thinking about it. I smiled lightly and shook my head.  
I had mostly talked only to Frank, but Linda must've heard me sometimes...would she realise that I've stopped talking again?...will she care? 

"Well, it's in the fridge if you want it." 

She sighed sadly before picking up the remote for the TV and turning on some random movie that looked about as exciting as watching paint dry. I stood up and headed up the stairs. I wasn't tired yet, but I could sit and draw til I was.  
When I reached Frank's door, I found it was locked, and I could hear music coming from inside. Not again.  
I sighed deeply, then knocked hard. At first I got no response, then I heard two words growled out from the other side of the room.

"Fuck off!"

Well, looks like I was right...he really does hate me now. Sighing, I put my back against the wall and slid down to sit on the floor...there was no point trying to make him understand...he hates me, and I'll be gone soon anyway.  
Maybe I should just leave...just run away and never look back. Wouldn't that be best for everyone?  
I sat and contemplated where I would go until I finally fell asleep...on the floor of the landing, right outside Frank's room.  
Guess I'll have a sore ass tomorrow then.

* * *

When Linda found Gerard asleep on the landing, she sighed sadly. Why was everything always 1 step forward, 2 steps back?...why couldn't the poor kid catch a break and just be happy for once?  
Shaking her head, knowing that Frank had most likely locked his door, she carefully scooped Gerard's sleeping form up into her arms and carried him to her room. She lay him in her bed and carefully tucked the blankets around him, then quietly left the room, pulling the door almost closed as she went.  
Linda grabbed a spare pillow and some blankets from the airing cupboard, then went to make up the couch for herself.

* * *

**Gerard's POV**

 

I woke up in an unfamiliar bed, in an unfamiliar room that smelled of peaches and honeysuckle.  
This must be Linda's room...what the Hell am I doing in here?  
I remembered falling asleep outside Frank's room, so I guess Linda put me here...no point cluttering up the hallway. But if I'm here, where's Linda?

I wasn't really sure what woke me up...it wasn't a nightmare, I knew that much. Sitting up in the bed, I looked around the dark room and shivered...I really hate the dark, it reminds me of how alone I am. I slipped out of bed and crept quietly from the room. I could hear soft music still playing through Frank's closed door as I headed for the stairs.  
When I reached the bottom, I could hear quiet snoring coming from the sofa.. Guess I found Linda then. To be honest, she's been nothing but nice to me and I don't want to hurt her, but I don't see another option now.

Silently I opened the front door and slipped out into the night, closing the door behind me.  
Street lamps lit up the area and gave a break from the suffocating blackness. Barefoot and shivering, I walked gingerly along the path toward the park that was located at the end of the road. There were fewer lights there, but I was almost beyond caring now. Now I just wanted it to all end.  
I walked the narrow gravel paths through in between dead and dying bushes and trees. Fall leaves littered the ground under my cold feet, crunching in the still silence of the night.

Rounding a corner, I found what I'd come here for...the lake.  
I'd heard rumours that bodies had been found in there...and now there would be one more.

I can't swim, never learned how so as I waded out into the freezing water, the temperature pulling the air from my lungs and the strength from my bones, I knew I only had minutes left in this world.  
I stopped as the water reached my chest and stared up at the cloud filled sky.

"Goodbye Mikey, goodbye F-Frank, goodbye Linda...." 

I murmured, my breath shuddering out in foggy clouds.

"I'm s-sorry I couldn't be a better b-brother, lover or son. Have a g-good life without me to ruin it. I love you all...g-goodbye."

A tear slid unchecked down my cold cheek as I began to walk again...deeper, deeper, then suddenly the ground seemed to fall away beneath my feet and I was sinking...drowning in the icy pool but I didn't struggle, I didn't fight. This was as it should be...my end...my death at my hands, no one else's.

As the freezing water invaded my nose and mouth, I closed my eyes and just let the darkness take me.  
To anyone who ever loved me...I'm sorry. Good night.

* * *

**Frank's POV**

 

The next morning, I woke up to music playing. Something feels...wrong. I sat up, looking at Gerard's bed. It was empty and I remembered that I locked him out of our room. I got out of bed and walked out of the room and down the stairs. Mom was sitting on the couch, crying.

"Mom, what's wrong?" 

I asked, confused. She sniffled and looked at me. She barely whispered. 

"G-Gerard's...gone and...and I don't know where he went. Police are l-looking for h-him." 

She looked as sad as I felt, the second that I heard those words. Gerard's gone.

* * *

Three days went by before Gerard was found. He was found in the lake, less than a mile away...dead. I tried to stay strong and didn't cry when mom told me the news. I can't cry in front of mom.  
I sat in my room for days, doing nothing but thinking. I loved him, really, I did...but he's gone...dead and I never had a chance to explain exactly how I felt. I hurt and I hate myself...but I didn't cry, not until the fourth day after his body was found. I was thinkng and trying to keep myself from crying, but I couldn't and I completely broke down.

I got out of my bed, and climbed into his bed. I held his pillow against my chest, tighter than I've ever held anything before. I cried as I breathed in his scent, trying to hold onto what's left of him for as long as I could. I wrapped his blanket around me, crying harder.

"I wish this was a dream, Gee..." 

I whispered, not caring that there's no one to hear my words.

"A horrible, horrible dream. B-but it's not, and you're gone...and I...I love you..." 

I sobbed, my whole body trembling. 

"Gee, come back...come back, Gee...p-please?..."

I lay there, clinging to Gerard's things. I whispered things to the empty room, just wanting all the things that I never said to be heard...heard by that beautiful boy that stole my heart...but they will never be.

I thought back to the night before Gerard arrived...I'd hated the thought of a random boy staying in my room...and now, I hate the thought that that random boy will never be in this room again.  
I exhaled, trying to steady my breaths, trying to calm down. I let out a final whimper and whisper the words I never wanted to say...

"I'll never forget you Gerard...goodbye."

 

 

_~The End~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this, please comment and don't be too mad at me...please?


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